tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57060468247120949632024-03-13T11:23:17.053-05:00FINDING JOYJoyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16547778178373113962noreply@blogger.comBlogger189125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5706046824712094963.post-25166781963455746172024-01-06T21:10:00.001-06:002024-01-06T21:27:43.364-06:00Theme 2024<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioe3HKHa3dAM-prvjFeukrlKciENxA4vKdFrjeL77KCtOXm9a4HrC8OxgFaG2ROEIrTayFY5HYuLKIQP63x6Ya9Z3EyjO4vBamRtwpCzS96seFJ5ewdifiNxiYchMIk_JUFWDsXgRxwPHJaB_9VYkSQkQUXpcd6CMYThtHFA2lFSsX2zXKBl6yq3n7qvjf/s820/2024%20Theme.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="820" data-original-width="542" height="490" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioe3HKHa3dAM-prvjFeukrlKciENxA4vKdFrjeL77KCtOXm9a4HrC8OxgFaG2ROEIrTayFY5HYuLKIQP63x6Ya9Z3EyjO4vBamRtwpCzS96seFJ5ewdifiNxiYchMIk_JUFWDsXgRxwPHJaB_9VYkSQkQUXpcd6CMYThtHFA2lFSsX2zXKBl6yq3n7qvjf/w324-h490/2024%20Theme.png" width="324" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">For the last 15 years I've been posting my <i>Theme for the Year</i> on <a href="https://joymeredith.blogspot.com/search/label/Theme" target="_blank">here</a>, and I never worry about coming up with a word or phrase that will capture what I want to focus on but this year had me stumped until it came to me: <b><span style="color: #cc0000;">ME</span></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">A few months ago I was in the middle of worrying about two friends at a time that both were going through upset. And I tried to be there for both of them and I think I was a good friend but later during some conversations about each issue they were dealing with - open heart surgery for one's spouse, heartbreak over a relationship for the other- I realized I had been exhausted by situations that turned out fine and there was nothing I could have done about either. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I'm not a people-pleaser but I am a huge people-helper; not consciously and also not always helpfully. When someone shares a problem with me I take a piece of it and try and "help" them with their burden. This comes from trying to make things OK when my folks were going through their divorce and it helped make me feel I had more control over my life and environment but it's not a healthy practice. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Add to this both of these dear friends had supported me when I went through a bad break up a few years back. Sure I had helped them when they were in rough times but something felt like I still owed them this almost extreme empathy when they were in pain. I was wrong. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I've gotten <i>way way better</i> over the years practicing <a href="Observe But Don't Absorb Other People's Messes" target="_blank">observing and not absorbing</a> people's drama and asking myself if <a href="That Is Not My Circus. Those Are Not My Monkeys!" target="_blank">these are my monkeys or not</a>. But when talking to these friends they shared they don't need my help just my ear and compassion.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">There are times when we need to step up and repay people's kindnesses but I had kept these friends' buckets full of love and friendship so they didn't need anything from me. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">2023 was also the year I became completely debtfree. I know some have been for years, decades or had never even carried that burden but when I left the relationship I was referring to I left with nothing we shared even the car I was driving. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I'm stepping into 2024 owing no one anything, so in that vein, even though it doesn't come naturally to me, I'm going to try and focus exclusively on: </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">What's best </span><span style="color: #cccccc;">4</span><span style="color: #cc0000;"> ME? </span></span></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Meaning, not worrying about anyone else but myself. I know that's sound selfish which is why I warmed you into it. But frankly, it's none of your business what I'm focusing on so ha π </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">That's my invitation for you to join if you want. Let's try to not worry about anything but our own fitness, finances, romances (although follow along with Tay and Trav's if that floats your boat) or anything else that will bring us joy, health and happiness. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I mean I <i>am</i> going to need you to vote to save democracy, but that's not til November!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">So how about we tend to what needs tending but along the way practice serenity and giving up worrying about anything not in our control or to our benefit. The people in our lives want what's best for us and us being at our best is what's best for us all!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><i><b><span style="color: #bf9000;">Happy New Year</span></b></i> π₯³ and <span style="color: #bf9000;">Cheers</span> π₯ to all there is in store for <b><span style="color: #cc0000;">ME</span></b> π</div>Joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16547778178373113962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5706046824712094963.post-27965846547959591332024-01-01T20:15:00.002-06:002024-01-03T21:13:55.026-06:00Creating YOUR Year ... π ποΈ<iframe frameborder="0" height="400" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="https://www.slideshare.net/slideshow/embed_code/key/4V5Y4ix58ZrFzs?hostedIn=slideshare&page=upload" width="476"></iframe><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="background-color: white; clear: both; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4xdgCI_E2Js8P1mzLmDvuhu-gzImpcBpZCcLFa6DgBjVJ6QTrgmRrDqf95h26GHLW50UR-mZzD9e3VUK74quBuwwBfi2t422r0Cjk4lotSO1vl7YgEXn6LwKGU2MU9mZ3IPsw5t5FjioU6VbRQWZ0SzTNlSpfFeptrcBDBaff9PmJsXDEoFnCIe1CV8JN/s1712/Screen%20Shot%202024-01-03%20at%209.05.27%20PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1212" data-original-width="1712" height="227" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4xdgCI_E2Js8P1mzLmDvuhu-gzImpcBpZCcLFa6DgBjVJ6QTrgmRrDqf95h26GHLW50UR-mZzD9e3VUK74quBuwwBfi2t422r0Cjk4lotSO1vl7YgEXn6LwKGU2MU9mZ3IPsw5t5FjioU6VbRQWZ0SzTNlSpfFeptrcBDBaff9PmJsXDEoFnCIe1CV8JN/s320/Screen%20Shot%202024-01-03%20at%209.05.27%20PM.png" width="320" /></a></div><br />2023 was <span style="color: #0b5394;"><b>DEEP</b></span> and delightful ... but I believe </span><b><span style="font-size: large;">2024</span></b> is going to <span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: large;"><b><i>MY YEAR!!</i></b></span></span></div><div style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15.4px;"><br /><div><br /></div><div><span style="font-size: large;">Happy Mapping and <i>Cheers</i> to a</span><span style="font-size: large;"> <span style="color: #cc0000;">JOY</span>FUL</span><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: xx-large;"> </span><span style="color: #cc0000;"><span style="font-size: xx-large;">2024</span><b style="font-size: xx-large;">! </b></span></div></div></div>Joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16547778178373113962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5706046824712094963.post-78953157557748463052023-12-08T15:48:00.002-06:002023-12-30T00:37:11.607-06:00Going to Hell π₯<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3S7133D-nHkATCTMTV6lC_NiyREKD88uV7VawI4eO4HYCDB1ZMI0BOfU8cB0zg-oqHJxU9tGWfrWPH9i0F-sTtLvZcC-xHKqBT1lUH_Qz8Y4ak7ihuv0Glfqv_eyFoSPT23vPtAj1hj4zygPeM-ivrJnN6rE_M8Dzxwfq99hcK-zq_ZdNdoqW02gaNjef/s1570/Screen%20Shot%202023-12-07%20at%2012.43.54%20AM.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="824" data-original-width="1570" height="275" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3S7133D-nHkATCTMTV6lC_NiyREKD88uV7VawI4eO4HYCDB1ZMI0BOfU8cB0zg-oqHJxU9tGWfrWPH9i0F-sTtLvZcC-xHKqBT1lUH_Qz8Y4ak7ihuv0Glfqv_eyFoSPT23vPtAj1hj4zygPeM-ivrJnN6rE_M8Dzxwfq99hcK-zq_ZdNdoqW02gaNjef/w524-h275/Screen%20Shot%202023-12-07%20at%2012.43.54%20AM.png" width="524" /></a></div><p></p><p>I recently had a very heartbreaking conversation with one of my closest friends. It was the second time one of my besties had told me that I was <span style="color: #e69138;"><span><i><b>going to Hell</b></i></span>.</span> Not in the angry way like... <i>go to Hell</i>. But in that because I don't believe in Jesus as my lord and savior I, and anyone else who doesn't accept this, was going to end up there. </p><p>I do genuinely love them for their concern for my soul and honestly if you truly believe that and you're <i>not</i> trying to warn the people you love, I think that makes you a sucky friend.</p><p>But, no matter how much I'd like to believe in an entity that is looking over and taking care of me and when I die I go to a magical place where I'm reunited with the ones I love, I just can't. And if you know how much I love <a href="https://joymeredith.blogspot.com/2015/07/time-heals.html" target="_blank">Ted</a>, you know I would do anything to have this be true. </p><p>Actually what's more upsetting to me then going to Hell is worshipping a God that would create and send his people to be tortured for eternity- that guy sounds like a real meanie. He's so narcissistic and delicate that if you don't worship him and praise him he punishes you <i>forever</i>? He creates <i>the game of life</i> where to whom and the place you're born dictates access to him? </p><p><b>Sick children.</b> That's <i>my</i> proof there isn't a personal God. </p><p>Believers say it's because our society has done something to warrant this or that God works in mysterious ways that are beyond our comprehension. To that I say, hmm... well if He makes it so hard to understand and comprehend him it's clearly his bad design and fuzzy communication that is the issue. </p><p>I'm normally to each his own, but I must say I kinda take it personally that people I love would worship an entity that is going to be torturing me. Ok, I haven't been a saint so maybe me... but <i><b>children?</b></i> <i>For eternity?!</i> Maybe I'm just being too sensitive π€ but really????</p><p>I believe in kindness. I believe in doing the right thing because it's easier to live in one's own skin when we are nice for no other reason than it's a more pleasant way to be in the world.</p><p>What do you believe in... a God that could heal children and doesn't? A God that makes praise of him mandatory for salvation? For me, I have to believe if there was an Almighty Loving God then he would heal children and would never send them to Hell because of something that had nothing to do with them- for that would be sick and evil, <i>amiright?!</i></p><p>So this holiday season, maybe instead of giving to your church or house of worship may I suggest you take this as a sign β¨ and join me in giving to <a href="https://www.stjude.org/" target="_blank">St. Jude's</a> instead. Yes, I know the irony π but this is an organization trying to cure children's cancer (<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Danny_Thomas" target="_blank">Danny Thomas</a> loved St Jude, but it's not a Catholic hospital) and I think those doctors, nurses and <i>scientists</i> are the ones we should actually be giving praise to. </p><p>Joy to You and all you love <span style="color: red;">β€</span></p>Joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16547778178373113962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5706046824712094963.post-22178485775815190602023-08-06T19:26:00.002-05:002023-08-08T09:07:40.248-05:00You Could Be My Silver Spring<iframe frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://youtube.com/embed/eDwi-8n054s" width="480"></iframe><div><br /></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;">Last night I went to see a Fleetwood Mac <a href="https://worldturningband.com/https-worldturningband-com-wp-content-uploads-2022-11-world-turning-epk-2022-mp4/" target="_blank">tribute band</a> and even though not the real thing they were fantastic and when it got to this song I got the chills like I always do when hearing it. Even before I knew what the lyrics meant I loved it. But let's take a minute to explore the genius of them... </span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;">Before Taylor Swift was even born Stevie Nicks was writing about her ex and bandmate Lindsey Buckingham. And as if it's not hard enough to witness a gifted songwriter put your relationship on paper and hear it on the radio... imagine having to then sing the words to her</span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNH6TXJF3-EeJwaOMELaU2HA0io2iSb1tOm8qzc7VitDhMo47SwQXiBRCO7SPeToM5uavHs6UskCGJy-qSsHX7heFdOJlxl8bt4BRbXY40rRAQsjMA2gK08RTUpTdSctW-xrSKo0RzKAdI-a_K_heHaqyBIBpJNJYZkgKGsiYoZu-wZ7GrWyKkhDljC_dA/s1509/Screen%20Shot%202023-08-07%20at%2010.59.56%20PM.jpeg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1095" data-original-width="1509" height="162" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNH6TXJF3-EeJwaOMELaU2HA0io2iSb1tOm8qzc7VitDhMo47SwQXiBRCO7SPeToM5uavHs6UskCGJy-qSsHX7heFdOJlxl8bt4BRbXY40rRAQsjMA2gK08RTUpTdSctW-xrSKo0RzKAdI-a_K_heHaqyBIBpJNJYZkgKGsiYoZu-wZ7GrWyKkhDljC_dA/w223-h162/Screen%20Shot%202023-08-07%20at%2010.59.56%20PM.jpeg" width="223" /></a></div></div></div><blockquote><div><i><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span face="Roboto, arial, sans-serif" jsname="YS01Ge" style="background-color: white; color: #202124;">You'll never get away from the sound of the woman that loves you</span><br aria-hidden="true" style="background-color: white; color: #202124;" /><span face="Roboto, arial, sans-serif" jsname="YS01Ge" style="background-color: white; color: #202124;">Time cast a spell on you, but you won't forget me</span><br aria-hidden="true" style="background-color: white; color: #202124;" /><span face="Roboto, arial, sans-serif" jsname="YS01Ge" style="background-color: white; color: #202124;">I know I could've loved you, but you would not let me</span></span></i></div></blockquote><div><span style="font-family: inherit;">I mean, brutal!</span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;">The term came from when she saw an exit sign while driving for </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silver_Springs_(song)" target="_blank">Silver Springs</a> <span style="font-family: inherit;">Maryland. She liked the sound of it and thought: </span><i style="font-family: inherit;">it <span style="background-color: white; color: #202122;">sounded like a pretty fabulous place to me. And 'You could be my silver springs', that's just a whole symbolic thing of what you could have been to me.</span></i></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="background-color: white; color: #202122;"><br /></span></i></span></div><div><span style="color: #202122;"><span style="background-color: white;">That's what is so evocative about the song and the idea: what someone could have meant to us if they would have let us love them. </span></span></div><div><span style="color: #202122;"><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="color: #202122;"><span style="background-color: white;">One of the hardest and I think saddest parts of a life is not having things come together like we hope they could. Timing, communication, stubborn pride.. oh, <i>what might have been </i>casts a spell and haunts us. </span></span></div><div><span style="color: #202122;"><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="color: #202122;"><span style="background-color: white;">I hope we all find our<i><b> Silver Spring</b></i> and it's a fabulous place/time where we don't have to imagine but can live the love that is meant for us. And let this serve as a reminder that it's better to have fully tried and given into love. And if it's not meant to be then we had the strength to clean it up instead of never being able to get away from the wo/men who loved us. </span></span></div><div><br /></div><div>Rock on Stevie π€</div><div><br /></div><div><span style="font-size: x-small;">[And before we feel too bad for Lindsey ... he returned the favor with <a href="https://youtu.be/p8Ojjn35kP8" target="_blank">Go Your Own Way</a>. These two π ]</span></div>Joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16547778178373113962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5706046824712094963.post-21744236372660403882023-03-05T21:07:00.003-06:002023-03-12T21:58:51.816-05:00Slap, Slap... STOP!<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8a-cvGmF01bv2LViC9l2uuVeyhx8tKtNj-muWVeW3GhNelPYT7c6oVSP8IVU_KFZdqtYyqGyeDUWAzG0b-6F55WxRkmO8SIigzbCbrCEJxcCk7s5LahjBcB-Y4OnMxsNR7bzV5Rre6nSOAZue9DYZLk0admbBw2PmMpVvaJiYGP4-SkMBLwp9ktud2g/s2500/will-smith-chris-rock-history-te-2x1-220328-b57676-1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="2500" height="299" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8a-cvGmF01bv2LViC9l2uuVeyhx8tKtNj-muWVeW3GhNelPYT7c6oVSP8IVU_KFZdqtYyqGyeDUWAzG0b-6F55WxRkmO8SIigzbCbrCEJxcCk7s5LahjBcB-Y4OnMxsNR7bzV5Rre6nSOAZue9DYZLk0admbBw2PmMpVvaJiYGP4-SkMBLwp9ktud2g/w622-h299/will-smith-chris-rock-history-te-2x1-220328-b57676-1.jpg" width="622" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><div class="ZPgdfd" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: white; color: #70757a; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; overflow: hidden; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"> </span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><a class="IZ2iu goedYd" data-ved="0CBMQ7o4GahcKEwjo-_ih2sX9AhUAAAAAHQAAAAAQBA" href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/77684752?utm_medium=organic&utm_source=google&utm_campaign=iptcurl" rel="noopener" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; color: #3c4043; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">gettyimages.com</a> Creator: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/kevinmazur/?hl=en" target="_blank">Kevin Mazur</a> | Credit: WireImage</span></div></td></tr></tbody></table><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Words <i>are not</i> violence. But boy, did Chris Rock use them to hurt last night!</span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Chris closed his <a href="https://www.netflix.com/title/80167499" target="_blank">Netflix special</a> by finally addressing the Will Smith slap and as expected from a comic master he knew where to land a punch. It was brutal. He took on Will, Jada and ended with a swipe at Will's family situation- both his marriage and how he was raised by his parents. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">It was a masterful use of language and comedic timing but all I could think was that amount of anger is a sign that while his face may have healed his emotions are as raw and bruised as they were a year ago. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Will was clearly wrong. Jada was not helpful. Chris not always an angel himself.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">While fans of each are now taking sides I can't help thinking: <i>make it <span style="color: red;"><b>STOP!!</b></span></i></span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">These are good people who let things get out of hand. And yes, Will was definitely the asshole that night, but he has also apologized publicly as well. Not saying Chris should forgive someone who hit him- no one should have to forgive an abuser. But look at what these three humans use to bring out in each other: laughter and love.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">It's just beyond sad that hurt lead to more hurt. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">It's Will's responsibility to make this right since it was his temper that lead to the violence. Saying you're sorry is not enough for causing physical harm to another person. He is worth an estimated $350M. Maybe a big chunk of that should be his penance. Offer Chris $25M and see if that takes away not just the sting but helps demonstrate that Will values him and knows what he did was real damage to not just his person but his wellbeing and pride. And maybe then Chris could use a big chunk of his big chunk to sponsor a Boys & Girls Club. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Not to Oprah-fy everything, but this could have really been an opportunity to show how two men who have both had been bullied growing up can settle their differences and repair damage they received and then created in their lives. After all, Chris had done an amazing job talking about the harm he caused cheating on his wife. His </span><a href="https://youtu.be/FT4Z4Blss0U" style="font-family: helvetica;" target="_blank">Tamborine</a><span style="font-family: helvetica;"> special was a brave and enlightened way to share what he learned about marriage. What could these three have created to make a difference in our messed up world?!</span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">It wasn't done to me, but I am nonetheless sad that two of my favorite entertainers are putting more hate and slaps out for us to witness. Don't like it and would really really like it to <i><span style="font-size: medium;">stop </span></i> π₯Ί</span><span style="font-family: helvetica; text-align: center;"> </span></p>Joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16547778178373113962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5706046824712094963.post-51728282300363446262023-01-02T19:22:00.003-06:002023-01-02T19:34:49.506-06:00Theme 2023<p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3TyZunLkUwEhD5_60a2T1oL_4_4JsZg54q3pCIZMiTWQUsh7cE1LutPXYROFnTIsvJqdCID2f8IiDT8gHpwFG8c0ygzcpuHEWCj7oQ0zeYvzx_BPSEXF4XhXQwXK84OVy5A4nkGAYA3Pj-AJepHxixXxbdvUsyv62QgVGiFh1oSWNF1Y0-3oVHzJwKA/s886/Screen%20Shot%202022-12-31%20at%202.04.31%20AM.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="260" data-original-width="886" height="175" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3TyZunLkUwEhD5_60a2T1oL_4_4JsZg54q3pCIZMiTWQUsh7cE1LutPXYROFnTIsvJqdCID2f8IiDT8gHpwFG8c0ygzcpuHEWCj7oQ0zeYvzx_BPSEXF4XhXQwXK84OVy5A4nkGAYA3Pj-AJepHxixXxbdvUsyv62QgVGiFh1oSWNF1Y0-3oVHzJwKA/w595-h175/Screen%20Shot%202022-12-31%20at%202.04.31%20AM.png" width="595" /></a><br /><br /></p><p>Being isolated on and off for the last couple years made people crave being close, yet we were all a little rusty with our social skills. So while it was great to be with people, I still found things to be kinda... surfacey.</p><p>This year I want to get DEEP with people and myself. And not like tell me about your childhood deep-- just not shallow, small talk, busy making. I was also reminded while visiting my family in Florida over the holidays that low-tide leaves things mucky and to get to calm and clear you need to go deep into the water and away from the choppy surface π</p><p>So that's where I hope to spend 2023... in deep conversations, in deep thought, in deep work, in deep love! Even if it's just dating with an openness to not be stingy and closed off from the possibility of <i>all</i> the ways love can show up in our lives or checking in with friends and getting to the core of how they <i>really</i> are doing not just the pleasantries. </p><p><i>What about you? </i></p><p>Come join in if you haven't <a href="http://www.creatingyouryear.com" target="_blank">created your year</a> yet and check out <a href="https://joymeredith.blogspot.com/search/label/Theme" target="_blank">past themes</a> if you want to get some inspiration. And remember: there is no right way to create a theme or year- <i>you do you!</i></p><p><span style="font-size: large;">Cheers to <span style="color: #0b5394;"><b>2023</b></span> ππ₯ and all the <span style="color: #0b5394;"><b>DEEP</b></span> <span style="color: #e06666;"><b>JOY</b></span> that can be for YOU and for ME π€</span></p>Joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16547778178373113962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5706046824712094963.post-64213962749228308012023-01-01T13:04:00.000-06:002023-01-01T13:04:09.593-06:00Creating YOUR Year ... π ποΈ<iframe frameborder="0" height="400" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="https://www.slideshare.net/slideshow/embed_code/key/HGlEupDcIIIEvr?hostedIn=slideshare&page=upload" width="476"></iframe><div><br /></div><div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoaYNu2agtb-CQghWcowm8ZvJJHsOlBVNTyCkZwhVQCP-Y0e9ZNI4S06p3IfAbWj7eYy4Ravj01MJK4eJZwmS8kIXvA0o7aU1w4b97IjpMvLm9Ca2UcXfBzN7Cn1gQRqR7eF_6ladshwuyEqDKI7L9eHlIDqS9V0NpiiCO3Sj177_kUL5quXuS-xqKBg/s1694/Screen%20Shot%202023-01-01%20at%2012.51.49%20PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1222" data-original-width="1694" height="231" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoaYNu2agtb-CQghWcowm8ZvJJHsOlBVNTyCkZwhVQCP-Y0e9ZNI4S06p3IfAbWj7eYy4Ravj01MJK4eJZwmS8kIXvA0o7aU1w4b97IjpMvLm9Ca2UcXfBzN7Cn1gQRqR7eF_6ladshwuyEqDKI7L9eHlIDqS9V0NpiiCO3Sj177_kUL5quXuS-xqKBg/s320/Screen%20Shot%202023-01-01%20at%2012.51.49%20PM.png" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: helvetica;"><span style="font-size: medium;">2022 was good (and <a href="https://joymeredith.blogspot.com/2022/01/how-to-happy.html" target="_blank">Happy Happy</a>) ... but I believe </span><span style="color: #0b5394; font-size: large;"><b>2023</b></span><span style="font-size: medium;"> is going to be even deeper, richer and more ME! Hope the same for YOU!!</span></span></div><div><br /><div><br /></div><div><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Happy Mapping and <i>Cheers</i> to a </span><span style="color: #0b5394; font-size: x-large;">DEEP</span><span style="font-size: large;"> & JOYFUL</span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #cc0000; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: xx-large;"> </span><span style="color: #0b5394;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: xx-large;">2023</span><b style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: xx-large;">! </b></span></div></div></div>Joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16547778178373113962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5706046824712094963.post-88314991296800166522022-12-31T21:43:00.008-06:002023-01-02T22:27:15.331-06:00Happy Life<p></p><div style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirTlflkKhowAqDrh8hOlC706USsqoQmLNhjw-JzPjQyVWD7fG4CFqbydFyQp-9ZmQEd6tk4SDq6paZV48F9-fqn1LhbbRazyrJZ4M-qQTsWtMQTPurLLXW3HG8QWiVkJ411UFv4z84Gg0Z-h_UdsyJm7p9APJpvKwvsPMxZI7YVY6QuuQaPoZ-kk8xNw/s1652/Screen%20Shot%202022-12-31%20at%207.34.49%20PM.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="702" data-original-width="1652" height="269" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirTlflkKhowAqDrh8hOlC706USsqoQmLNhjw-JzPjQyVWD7fG4CFqbydFyQp-9ZmQEd6tk4SDq6paZV48F9-fqn1LhbbRazyrJZ4M-qQTsWtMQTPurLLXW3HG8QWiVkJ411UFv4z84Gg0Z-h_UdsyJm7p9APJpvKwvsPMxZI7YVY6QuuQaPoZ-kk8xNw/w633-h269/Screen%20Shot%202022-12-31%20at%207.34.49%20PM.png" width="633" /></a></div><p></p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">How can we have a <b>Happy Life</b>?</span><div><span style="font-family: helvetica;"><br /></span><div><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Well I think it's going to be a unique recipe for each of us and it's not often going to come in the exact way, form or timing we are always hoping for. Ugh, that's annoying!</span></div><div><span style="font-family: helvetica;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: helvetica;">But for me, it's gratitude, perspective, and remembering how lucky we are to be alive! </span></div></div><div><span style="font-family: helvetica;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: helvetica;">You can read my opining on <span style="color: #e06666;"><i>How to Happy</i> </span>in <a href="https://joymeredith.blogspot.com/search/label/HTH22" target="_blank">this year's posts</a>. </span></div><div><span style="font-family: helvetica;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: helvetica;">But I wanted to leave you with a little gem my sister recently shared when she was talking about finding the best family to adopt the pets she helps volunteer for. She <i>loves</i> the animals and wants to find the "perfect" home for each of them, but often reminds herself:</span></div><div><span style="font-family: helvetica;"><i></i><blockquote><i> Sometimes a good life is a great outcome.</i></blockquote></span></div><div><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Same for us. I thought I was going to have a different life. </span><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Whatever I pictured, </span><i style="font-family: helvetica;">this is not it!</i><span style="font-family: helvetica;"> </span></div><div><span style="font-family: helvetica;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: helvetica;">So I try and find happiness in the one I am living. <i>AND</i> explore what might make it <i>great</i> while enjoying the good. Am I thrilled to be dating at this age? π³ Not quite- but I put it on <a href="https://joymeredith.blogspot.com/2021/12/creating-your-year.html" target="_blank">this years map</a> and found two guys I really liked and had a wonderful time with π. Is it fun to watch my folks age? No, but they are still a blast to be around and well so I enjoy them at a slower pace. My body, my finances, my relationships, name a category- I'm not where I would ideally like to be. But I practice being happy where I am and it does actually make things better. </span></div><div><span style="font-family: helvetica;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Take a quick inventory of 2022 and appreciate all the happy moments you've had... </span></div><div><span style="font-family: helvetica;">now see if you can let go of the perfect and enjoy the good. And from that place <a href="http://www.creatingyouryear.com/" target="_blank">create a 2023</a> that will bring you joy going forward. Cheers to having a <span style="color: #e06666;"><b>Happy Happy</b></span> life π· π</span></div>Joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16547778178373113962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5706046824712094963.post-75946475598036536112022-11-12T19:33:00.001-06:002022-11-18T19:52:53.864-06:00Happy Hugs<iframe frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://youtube.com/embed/eYmFyjy2EmQ" width="480"></iframe><div><br /></div><div>I'm a hugger π€. I think hugging someone you care about is one of the greatest highs there is. I would also throw hand holding and general non-sexual touch into that category as well. </div><div><br /></div><div>When I saw this clip with Trevor Noah I got chills because it is so so true and so so avoided as a topic regarding both physical and mental health. Sex is great, but touch is essential to life!</div><div><br /></div><div>Even before Covid we were a world with too little touch and since then it's part of the reason I think we are still a little <i>crispy</i> and numb. And not just for the reasons Trevor mentions. I think a lot of women are hesitant to give out affection to not lead others on and to protect themselves from creepy behavior that is unwanted and unwelcome. But I know how folks long to be held and connected with so we need to find a way to bring closeness into the way we are with people we can trust and care about. </div><div><br /></div><div>There are many men in my life who have shared how lonely and affection starved they are. Of course some women as well, but they often can get their touch from other women even if it is as simple as getting a hug from a friend or the touch from a pedicure. Men are just not as touchy with each other or in their everyday life.</div><div><br /></div><div>I was in a car accident a few weeks ago and my back, neck and shoulders were sprained and/or twisted and so I've been getting therapeutic massage. The other day while on the table with my masseuse <a href="https://www.massagebook.com/Fox_Lake~Massage~chapel-hill-bodyworks-wellness-center-east?src=external#staff" target="_blank">Scott</a> working his magic, all I could think is there would be less war, hate and sadness in the world if people had this kind of touch as part of their lives. And yes a trained professional is not something that we all can (or want to) avail ourselves of regularly, but a hug, a touch, an energy exchange with people we know and care about is.</div><div><br /></div><div>Earlier in the year I was dating a guy who you might remember as <i><a href="https://joymeredith.blogspot.com/2022/02/happy-dating.html" target="_blank">the great kisser</a></i>, and though our chemistry was tingly one of the things I remember most is when we were sitting on the couch and he picked up my foot and put it on his leg and just held it there while we talked. </div><div>It wasn't sexual it was just he wanted to feel connected while we spoke to each other. Melt!</div><div><br /></div><div>And trust me if you were on the dating scene you would be startled by how many men list physical touch as their <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Five_Love_Languages" target="_blank">love-language</a>. Or how they desperately crave a partner who will kiss them. Again, I think this is less about the sex and more about the intimacy of being connected to someone. You know I love words but I think touch is probably the thing most needed by men and the one they are most afraid to ask for so it often comes out as being related to sex. </div><div><br /></div><div>Recently I reunited with an old male friend and when we hugged it was like we hadn't been apart all that time. Nothing sexual, all emotional. That is what touch can do-- it can reconnect us with each other and even the good vibes in ourselves if we involve an expert like Scott. </div><div><br /></div><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJQhAyVK6LFTHUZTemm52J0Oqb1Fg3mL9vRvSpTNnLOQvf710vmWfhg0_OGXURQFKmETNkE-0wiFfQfJMaUAhoMK0dGNwJhiicGUjHhmdgbfee8un8_jViOV47VFVSlffF7wDHmqWoFoOv-2lNNt1pk9j7HkwvKGDnl4i3vpJfPGFvzpoP6FJC5Mfl3Q/s1280/IMG_4319.jpeg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="960" height="272" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJQhAyVK6LFTHUZTemm52J0Oqb1Fg3mL9vRvSpTNnLOQvf710vmWfhg0_OGXURQFKmETNkE-0wiFfQfJMaUAhoMK0dGNwJhiicGUjHhmdgbfee8un8_jViOV47VFVSlffF7wDHmqWoFoOv-2lNNt1pk9j7HkwvKGDnl4i3vpJfPGFvzpoP6FJC5Mfl3Q/w204-h272/IMG_4319.jpeg" width="204" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Not <i>the lean</i>, but you get the idea.</span></td></tr></tbody></table><div>My Dad and I have this thing where when we are in the kitchen waiting for something to cook or for my family to get ready to leave for dinner we lean on each other (from the side). I can't remember exactly when it started, for sure by highschool when I got to be almost his height. He can't do this with my sister- she would tip over, or my brother- he would tip him over- so it's our thing. I treasure the feel of his lean and I know it's his way of being affectionate with the daughter who maybe needed it a little more than my siblings. </div><div><br /></div><div>So I leave you with this... who would welcome a hug/touch from you today? Who needs to feel your physical presence? Give a hug, get a hug... <a href="https://joymeredith.blogspot.com/search/label/HTH22" target="_blank">Happy Happy</a> touch to you π€ </div>Joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16547778178373113962noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5706046824712094963.post-23285426130476447902022-09-27T19:58:00.003-05:002022-09-27T22:11:18.084-05:00Happy Moments<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhshxeBmZMwG7zQMalU_ZrLNCRlVNHcz2yPcFhbHjjz4YqxXTjXzzpHUopYj4onbMoM5BUQNLpBSoP2CcdQD0Qmn3eKxx_7vFdgN9xQqjbOybINzmousrtlwkT2o7eeSTfWnoXgjqRkZoRFIErfP4MfiU9vlZ71G8iXflrTQ7KTl5-DB08qxC3ErOqL7g/s1635/Screen%20Shot%202022-09-27%20at%207.17.20%20PM.png" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="835" data-original-width="1635" height="339" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhshxeBmZMwG7zQMalU_ZrLNCRlVNHcz2yPcFhbHjjz4YqxXTjXzzpHUopYj4onbMoM5BUQNLpBSoP2CcdQD0Qmn3eKxx_7vFdgN9xQqjbOybINzmousrtlwkT2o7eeSTfWnoXgjqRkZoRFIErfP4MfiU9vlZ71G8iXflrTQ7KTl5-DB08qxC3ErOqL7g/w665-h339/Screen%20Shot%202022-09-27%20at%207.17.20%20PM.png" width="665" /></a></div><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuYIyCNTB4Scx37DOszpWKmqkODwdccitmiEd2cKlDS_r-NxRSfiHi2nwcoMFiGDuPX8WDbL6m2ikoD3Pi5gf9foL9cl-7YaPxnsB24Krcr28uW8YKkhAz1FAh0h1kSjWz7jXQtT4e2EzpUOv8EPTAhN0B5t8gpHwNRE6Zm0BPN5jLKFeTdES7sAkOrQ/s348/Screen%20Shot%202022-09-25%20at%203.08.29%20PM.png" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="348" data-original-width="284" height="193" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuYIyCNTB4Scx37DOszpWKmqkODwdccitmiEd2cKlDS_r-NxRSfiHi2nwcoMFiGDuPX8WDbL6m2ikoD3Pi5gf9foL9cl-7YaPxnsB24Krcr28uW8YKkhAz1FAh0h1kSjWz7jXQtT4e2EzpUOv8EPTAhN0B5t8gpHwNRE6Zm0BPN5jLKFeTdES7sAkOrQ/w158-h193/Screen%20Shot%202022-09-25%20at%203.08.29%20PM.png" width="158" /></a></div>Many years ago while in search of a therapist I ran across a woman who looked almost exactly like this pic of <a href="https://www.instagram.com/goldiehawn/?hl=en" target="_blank">Goldie Hawn</a>, including sitting legs crossed on her couch while she spoke to me. I can't quite remember her name, but I can remember this nugget clearly: <i><span style="color: #ffa400;"><blockquote>the key to happiness is to notice the little moments of our life</blockquote></span></i>I remember thinking she was lovely and all but that was way too hippy-dippy for me so I moved on.<p></p><p>Well now that I'm older I totally see what she means. We don't remember the hours in our days, we remember the brief moments that made us feel alive and stick with us. One of my first real stick-with-me-moments was the day I was graduating from high school and not for the reasons you might think. It was because I noticed how my forest green gown perfectly matched the venue we graduated at: <a href="https://www.ravinia.org/" target="_blank">Ravinia</a>. It felt like we were all one, in this big group of people (friends, family, teachers) I cared about, in this beautiful place π²π³π²π³... and that felt emotional and magical.</p><p>I have attended many concerts there since and I always make a point of pausing for a moment to feel the audience sing in unison. Yes, I like the performer/s on stage, but it's the unison that gives me chills. People harmonizing together in joy is one of the best things to ever be in the middle of.</p><p>Seeing my book on the shelf after a year and half of work to write it- <i>a moment!</i></p><p>When I feel sad or stressed I try and look for little moments of joy and it changes my mood immediately. And it doesn't have to be anything big. The other day I enjoyed a perfectly ripe mango and the moment was wonderful - the color, the smell and the taste- <span style="color: #ffa400;">JOY!</span></p><p>Last week my family and some dear friends got together at a lovely winery to surprise my step-mom Bobbie for her 80th. The wine, food and chocolates were fantastic but the moment for me was when I read a poem I had written and I looked up and and she was teary (which is very rare for her). She said as a step-parent you don't always know if you've made a difference in your kids' lives and it meant a lot to hear she had π</p><p>Music, plants, food, wine, loved ones, a movie, a song lyric, a sunset, a kiss ... there are many things that make me stop in awe of how beautiful life is. So yes, that therapist was right all those years ago-- moments are what make our lives happy. Therefore if we want more happy, we need to stop and breathe in a few more as we live ours.</p><p>And if this reminds you of anyone who's helped make a happy moment for you, please share that with them, it'll probably create another one just enjoying the memory of it together. </p><p>Cheers to Bobbie π and all the bonus parents that enrich our world, to the therapists that leave us with nuggets, and to the <b><span style="color: #ffa400;">Happy Moments</span></b> of our lives π· </p>Joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16547778178373113962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5706046824712094963.post-70339968866184705632022-08-28T08:00:00.008-05:002022-08-28T22:17:38.899-05:00Happy Conscience <p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHoMn2O8j6JrlGyrf4NBTlFMA7N7-Z_9GLrveukpgGTVwznb7jkb_RZ2GEfhFlPSmFqdX0fpgzQ2exljIFgxReCN8YV1YXGtHcPQ6lMMEREWYc3hwvFUmc6BbWEryB6DOMj1jSv52n-aWW0cR1SYXgsG41LEXnyAxPPYLgZ92r0jHdVWX868ycQhr9_Q/s1200/louis-c.k.-sorry-review.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="675" data-original-width="1200" height="338" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHoMn2O8j6JrlGyrf4NBTlFMA7N7-Z_9GLrveukpgGTVwznb7jkb_RZ2GEfhFlPSmFqdX0fpgzQ2exljIFgxReCN8YV1YXGtHcPQ6lMMEREWYc3hwvFUmc6BbWEryB6DOMj1jSv52n-aWW0cR1SYXgsG41LEXnyAxPPYLgZ92r0jHdVWX868ycQhr9_Q/w600-h338/louis-c.k.-sorry-review.jpg" width="600" /></a></p><p>For those that don't know I at one time <a href="https://joymeredith.blogspot.com/2017/10/for-love-of-louie.html" target="_blank">had a little thing</a> for Louis CK. I know, I know but gather yourself and let's move on to the insight this brings me to...</p><p>We had been chatting about a <a href="https://joymeredith.blogspot.com/2022/05/happy-mind.html">Happy Mind</a> and one of the keys to that is a clear conscience free of shame, guilt, regret and bad vibes. If we are haunted by things we've done, even if we have lots of happy in our life, this shadow of darkness will follow us.</p><p>There is a reason that <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twelve-step_program" target="_blank">12-step programs</a> include steps of inventorying and making amends to people that we've wronged and most religions have some form of atonement for bad acts we've committed. </p><p>Recently an ex texted to say they were sorry about how <i>things didn't work out </i>with us and they <i>hope I will forgive them someday</i>. And it reminded me of Louis CK's big <span style="color: red; font-family: helvetica;"><b>SORRY</b></span> sign π</p><p>Sure it's nice to hear someone is sorry but it only counts in my book if they clean up the mess they made along with the words they speak (or in LCK's case, stand in front of). The onus is not on the person that's been wronged to forgive someone if it's just blah, blah, blah to make them feel less guilty. True forgiveness is earned by correcting the behavior, owning what they did, and restitution to make things at a minimum as repaired as possible. </p><p><i></i></p><blockquote><i><span style="color: #0b5394;">You're sorry?</span></i></blockquote><blockquote><span style="color: #0b5394;"><i>What for?</i> </span></blockquote><blockquote><span style="color: #0b5394;"><i>Where did you own what you did?</i> </span></blockquote><blockquote><span style="color: #0b5394;"><i>What have you done to clean up your mess?</i> </span></blockquote><blockquote><i><span style="color: #0b5394;">And where is the restitution to make up for the damage you wrought?</span></i></blockquote><p>We <i>all </i>mess up. We all cause pain even when we're not trying to hurt someone; but when we know we did something truly bad we can't just text/<a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2017/11/10/arts/television/louis-ck-statement.html?unlocked_article_code=C-xXY9qzWkFdsef8g-etD56C_-OsiFSw55iKQ8UJjynzWwyt8_LJZbo035YrPJcsFxYugrp-XCWKJV_NIHhqluPQ13_K2H_BF-NHBBU2OXxYEkv9CLA43I52TTWUAAZEKMSzD5JSYmI-dpdsRCZx2szCNdYEQk15U11mMUFCB29GyW2h-5QBgF5yfl_3fP11maPdZoTMaC_3Fb_QmNJZ34hFi0j_wRx-H3O0zFPY5w7CquxOxTba7-qccrt7PFQMtuAsYGEpoXcon4hVc-uWcbMPN1C_XqTy9JX_V1tn2l_GnKSLLCwRPpRSsr-jna804b5lRV9SklJwm7AAL5FdBRIvafeS&smid=share-url" target="_blank">statement</a> it away. </p><p>LCK used humor and the fact that some fans didn't care what he did to salve/ignore his guilt. Not good enough. He owes the women he harassed compensation for what he did to them. There were women who suffered career and other real damage from his actions. The 10ft tall sign was bright and flashy alright and I did actually watch his special to see what he had to say- but there was no <i>sorry</i> in his act or actions. </p><p>Again, the human condition is we all have a level of <a href="The ME-ness of MEANNESS" target="_blank">meanness</a> in us, none of us is so saintly that we don't ever do anything wrong. It's hard, painful and sometimes costly to clean up our messes so we mostly don't go there. What a waste because if we cleared our conscience and did the hard part we would have a happy healthy mind, heart and future. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8jOrM4u7xh41xf0R0ck5oInROWPv5dgl58tNnSqibB-pWZjSkmOpCjiPMgvYrQNphTGaxO7ShXIkcvmEldQqh16Mr_5ajEQc4dAUpkXth-w5AFVq0rujnf7vkZiz5AsvLfqnFkOZA3A1hHg3BExq_nRn7Tdi6pomSouQUHG2knNpsyyT8x1cXfCRIAQ/s3582/MLW%20FU.jpeg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3582" data-original-width="2385" height="433" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8jOrM4u7xh41xf0R0ck5oInROWPv5dgl58tNnSqibB-pWZjSkmOpCjiPMgvYrQNphTGaxO7ShXIkcvmEldQqh16Mr_5ajEQc4dAUpkXth-w5AFVq0rujnf7vkZiz5AsvLfqnFkOZA3A1hHg3BExq_nRn7Tdi6pomSouQUHG2knNpsyyT8x1cXfCRIAQ/w288-h433/MLW%20FU.jpeg" width="288" /></a></div><i>How important is cleaning up our conscience?</i> Well, it's the second chapter in <a href="https://www.harpercollins.com/products/my-last-wishes-joy-meredith?variant=32129908932642" target="_blank">my book</a>, only the one about love comes before it. Because a festering ick in our life just gets ickier!<p></p><p>Someone once described a clear conscience as being able to walk into any room with your head held high no matter who you might run into and I think that's a pretty good visual. </p><p>The irony is if we summon the strength to own our messes there is a pop of relief, peace and closure that is worth the effort and humility on the other side. </p><p>So if you're regretting something you've done or your conscience is not clear, don't let your pride, stubbornness or fear stop you from getting things handled. Map out what is there for you and don't get overwhelmed, but just do a little step at a time to clean up your <a href="https://joymeredith.blogspot.com/2017/10/my-name-is-karma.html" target="_blank">karma</a>.</p><p>Otherwise, you'll be the one <i>sorry</i> you didn't π</p><p></p>Joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16547778178373113962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5706046824712094963.post-76388047812119007432022-07-26T10:00:00.086-05:002022-08-27T16:09:44.747-05:00Happy Birthday <p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoLGSoH08UpZ51p_PAOKgMumO-IhFZkTKuAcA43HdvQ59e0TwYBhdSM_0YIjhQO0KQQ9HwANAy2xDhSEqqzdZgWECfaLe5EQSCQj3lZRq0yrw9vHzveu9ekHRCvUL30a9b1nNNiYwxGCqsApU14JxHVNuoUlctuFzYmJYE6NNPCfdjcqj1kVXZm-9etw/s1686/Screen%20Shot%202022-07-25%20at%206.33.01%20PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="848" data-original-width="1686" height="357" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoLGSoH08UpZ51p_PAOKgMumO-IhFZkTKuAcA43HdvQ59e0TwYBhdSM_0YIjhQO0KQQ9HwANAy2xDhSEqqzdZgWECfaLe5EQSCQj3lZRq0yrw9vHzveu9ekHRCvUL30a9b1nNNiYwxGCqsApU14JxHVNuoUlctuFzYmJYE6NNPCfdjcqj1kVXZm-9etw/w709-h357/Screen%20Shot%202022-07-25%20at%206.33.01%20PM.png" width="709" /></a><br /><br /></div></span>Today is my Birthday!! When we went out last weekend my dear friend <a href="https://twitter.com/vickie_austin" target="_blank">Vickie</a> asked me a question her husband Bill, also a close friend and <a href="https://www.billaustinsart.com/" target="_blank">talented artist</a>, asks her on her birthday</div><p></p><p></p><blockquote><b><i><blockquote><span style="font-size: medium;">What have you learned about yourself this year? </span></blockquote></i></b></blockquote><p>and so I wanted to share what I told her.... </p><p>What struck me is how we are back to almost normal again and I'm not sure that's entirely a good thing. Of course the return to living is truly wonderful but that we have seemingly forgot all that we went through (<a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=covid+deaths&rlz=1C5CHFA_enUS732US739&oq=covid+deaths&aqs=chrome..69i57j0i433i512l2j0i457i512j0i402l2j0i512l3j0i433i512.6340j1j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8#colocmid=/m/09c7w0&coasync=0" target="_blank">and lost</a>) is a bit surreal to me. </p><p>Two years ago at this time I was celebrating my birthday on the phone/zoom with my friends and then alone with a cocktail on my deck having a drink to my health; my birthday wish was for the end of the isolation <a href="https://joymeredith.blogspot.com/2021/03/emotional-euphoria-side-effects-may-vary.html" target="_blank">once the vaccine was approved</a>. </p><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtxU1RmlblGSrluZr-w7xs0FMcEgXD0Q75j40gJl8YB_s2txa92I0h2Pt5ci8Lr2w989XAzG6yUO940hi4OgMgwyqAFeawnTOhri8A9g18C_fz7pDHnC1oiXdQAV3u01JQlFGnRFDEkEUIsVRA0tLPbSDd5cvIQ03u4Pku1YNU8QEpbI3cSLxbklxXMA/s1444/IMG_7229.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1444" data-original-width="750" height="565" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtxU1RmlblGSrluZr-w7xs0FMcEgXD0Q75j40gJl8YB_s2txa92I0h2Pt5ci8Lr2w989XAzG6yUO940hi4OgMgwyqAFeawnTOhri8A9g18C_fz7pDHnC1oiXdQAV3u01JQlFGnRFDEkEUIsVRA0tLPbSDd5cvIQ03u4Pku1YNU8QEpbI3cSLxbklxXMA/w293-h565/IMG_7229.jpeg" width="293" /></a>As you can see by my cheeky post thanking my friends for their bday messages- what I was looking forward to most was hugging and being with people again π€ . And here we are two years later and I think we've forgotten and are taking for granted how great it is to be back out in the world. I know I have.</p><p>I actually was getting ready to push meeting Vickie until next weekend because I was feeling tired Sunday morning and then I remembered how two years ago I would have done anything to be able to be out to lunch with a friend. </p><p>Bad dates, family obligations, long check out lines-- pick a gripe we have now and boy would I have loved to have been doing any of them that summer. </p><p>So much has changed since around that time. <a href="https://joymeredith.blogspot.com/2021/10/transplanted-watch-out-for-your-raw.html" target="_blank">New home</a>, <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/joymeredith/" target="_blank">new job</a>, have had some <a href="https://joymeredith.blogspot.com/2022/02/happy-dating.html" target="_blank">great dates</a> (and kisses) and gotten settled into my <a href="https://joymeredith.blogspot.com/2020/06/hair-is-everything.html" target="_blank">blondness</a>. All in the last two years. </p><p>Lucky me, I got to spend time with my sister at <a href="https://mam.org/" target="_blank">the art museum</a> and strolling around <a href="https://longgrove.org/" target="_blank">Long Grove</a> with Vickie last weekend and some more plans in the upcoming days... so my birthday this year has been <i>fantastic!!</i> But what has made it even happier is remembering how precious it was to have all that alone time so that I now treasure even more the time I get to be with those I love (or even like a lot π).</p><p>So <b style="color: #e06666; font-style: italic;">Happy Happy Birthday </b>to<b style="color: #e06666; font-style: italic;"> ME!!</b> And here's hoping this reminder is a little gift to you that each year is to be celebrated and to be out in the world and healthy is the greatest of <span style="color: #cc0000;">joy</span>s! </p><p>Cheers to You, Me and <i>all </i>there is yet to be π·πΈπΉ</p><p></p>Joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16547778178373113962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5706046824712094963.post-8007519839761438702022-06-22T18:00:00.004-05:002022-08-27T16:07:36.672-05:00Happy Sadness<p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpV3vZMSIe96dEKryKCs45r35h5IbCWYY1_aYY6UQBKPOZkJ6B5ubueCNtAKNLrpV9SooEeSlosRUAdOs87mZsQQU6Ue1_A1CnRVXj-r7PRVYXoBgurLAFlJpfN8qhFGFOFzlNeDZA8g40zThML3stAZSRnEo5BC7Xp5tTcNGq57F3c3Jx7VqHCfjBIA/s1670/Screen%20Shot%202022-06-11%20at%205.28.47%20PM.png" style="clear: left; display: inline; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="570" data-original-width="1670" height="235" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpV3vZMSIe96dEKryKCs45r35h5IbCWYY1_aYY6UQBKPOZkJ6B5ubueCNtAKNLrpV9SooEeSlosRUAdOs87mZsQQU6Ue1_A1CnRVXj-r7PRVYXoBgurLAFlJpfN8qhFGFOFzlNeDZA8g40zThML3stAZSRnEo5BC7Xp5tTcNGq57F3c3Jx7VqHCfjBIA/w690-h235/Screen%20Shot%202022-06-11%20at%205.28.47%20PM.png" width="690" /></a></p><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Since we started last post talking about a <i><span style="color: #cc0000;"><a href="https://joymeredith.blogspot.com/2022/05/happy-mind.html" target="_blank">happy mind</a></span></i> I figured I'd share my other big revelation from taking Landmark coursework. To set the scene it's the <a href="https://www.landmarkworldwide.com/advanced-programs/the-landmark-advanced-course" target="_blank">Advanced Course</a> weekend and that Friday night they give you this big buildup that we'll end the night doing an exercise they guarantee tens of thousands of people have done and <i>NO ONE</i> has ever not <i>disappeared</i> whatever they are suffering about. They ask us to write down the one thing we have the most suffering about and that is what we will focus on in the exercise. Now you already know this was a super shitty year for me so I had lots to choose from but I decided I would focus on this relationship I couldn't get over that I was sad sad sad about. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I will respect the process and not give it away, other than to say once you and your partner dissolve your suffering you are free to leave for the night. Cut to me, and my partner had already an hour before resolved her suffering and so they put me with different partner. Another hour or so passes and I'm still not only deep in the suffering but have a throbbing headache because I was crying so hard and had worked up so much (sorry for this visual) snot that I had gone through almost an entire box of kleenex and still could not resolve it. I'm now the sole sufferer left and they have no idea what to do with me. Did I mention in the thousands and thousands over decades and decades they had been doing this no one to my instructors' knowledge had ever not resolved their suffering?</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Well I know I'm gifted and all, but this was not what I wanted to be a champion at... π«</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">So after some whispers in the corner they share that I would need to go home and they would have to help me again in the morning since it was late and they weren't sure what to do with me.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">On the drive home I'm now suffering about how great and overwhelming my suffering is! </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Well as often happens with my unresolved issues, I awake at 3am with the answer:</div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><blockquote><i><b><span style="color: #0b5394;">Suffering is when we try to stop our sadness from being fully felt. </span></b></i></blockquote></div></blockquote><p>I got this image of a box on a shelf and that we suffer when we try not to be sad about something ever again instead of putting it on a shelf and then taking it down and being sad whenever we needed to be sad. Suffering is resisting our sadness. Suffering is trying to numb our pain instead of feeling it. </p><p>It wasn't that I was never going to sad about something ever again, but that I didn't need to carry it with me. I could actually put it down and not drag it around like an anchor.</p><p>What a revelation and relief! Life has sadness and sometimes it feels good to be with it and get a good cry in and feel the loss. And then we can put it back where it belongs and not lead with it and not sprinkle it on our current happy life. I now don't avoid being sad, I feel what I'm feeling and sometimes I cry out, and even wallow in, how much I miss Chris and Ted or wish my Nonne was here to make tortellini with.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhkYVJfkmZbp17EmftZCif6EgIRBzjF-2lyH84zb4_zOkb1VlOxEYlp2luZ5rioqPWNbYE64clgZWsf7fG3V0rMOY1RkT8rNUSAAPxhkPrgwupZ4RXZWdBKK3DJUn5HnPk1d_4fjbqjlDfodyXxNzCuxLRZr7LMd8CNT7HlqRB1tOdK7sb1S9XSo8BFA/s410/Screen%20Shot%202022-06-11%20at%203.47.26%20PM.png" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="380" data-original-width="410" height="187" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhkYVJfkmZbp17EmftZCif6EgIRBzjF-2lyH84zb4_zOkb1VlOxEYlp2luZ5rioqPWNbYE64clgZWsf7fG3V0rMOY1RkT8rNUSAAPxhkPrgwupZ4RXZWdBKK3DJUn5HnPk1d_4fjbqjlDfodyXxNzCuxLRZr7LMd8CNT7HlqRB1tOdK7sb1S9XSo8BFA/w201-h187/Screen%20Shot%202022-06-11%20at%203.47.26%20PM.png" width="201" /></a></div>To love deeply leaves scars but they are better than never having had the experience. I can actually be happy when I get to be sad because I know it means someone and something was<i> that </i>important to me. Love is sometimes going to be sad and that's OK. Be happy we have the capacity to know and feel it at all.<p></p><p>When I went back the next morning I was greeted with concern and kindness and then relief that I had figured out how to release my own suffering. I hope to save you the suffering you might be doing about your own suffering now that you see how happy we can be to be sad sometimes. Keep your sadness as long as it takes, and as close as you need to. But I offer up that it doesn't need you to keep it <i>with</i> you. </p><p>No one you love would want you to suffer in their absence (whether because of death or circumstance), it would not be their wish to be the source of your pain. You know they would want you to live a happy life in their honor not in your darkness. Not to mention, if your suffering isn't about love but about trauma that was done to you, be clear... <i>nothing that was done to you is worth stealing your present and future joy</i>. Feel your sadness, and then take a deep long breath, add a loud sigh if called for, and then release it until you're ready to be with it again. And if it is still deep inside and clinging to you, please get help to put it in its proper place and free yourself of that burden. </p><p><a href="https://joymeredith.blogspot.com/2015/07/time-heals.html" target="_blank">Time has healed</a> most of my wounds but sometimes when I need a good cry I'm happy that I loved a few deeply enough to be worthy of my tears. </p><p>I hope you take the time to feel your sad tears as well and they bring you some relief. And when you're ready, that they dry and you can get back to a <a href="How to Happy" target="_blank">Happy Happy</a> life. </p>Joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16547778178373113962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5706046824712094963.post-59579597770627060952022-05-29T02:08:00.003-05:002022-05-29T10:18:15.984-05:00Happy Mind<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgwSQC29tGAJlcYKuMqXO-5VUSnL69qsYdHInSlikAEGhNzwvhxwG4wT8R4DGRDg2vD-pytsdGqk5sFbWviA2OZz6CuYURJ7I1Q2rCJWdIwkiMz49n4WX-k0V0Tz5__AHia2mumimV9z4otFd4Xk7Q54l9-v0oMkjzU3LQWR5E_qCC6RYEPKC3vJ9MQw/s1704/Screen%20Shot%202022-05-28%20at%205.34.05%20PM.png" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="858" data-original-width="1704" height="323" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgwSQC29tGAJlcYKuMqXO-5VUSnL69qsYdHInSlikAEGhNzwvhxwG4wT8R4DGRDg2vD-pytsdGqk5sFbWviA2OZz6CuYURJ7I1Q2rCJWdIwkiMz49n4WX-k0V0Tz5__AHia2mumimV9z4otFd4Xk7Q54l9-v0oMkjzU3LQWR5E_qCC6RYEPKC3vJ9MQw/w642-h323/Screen%20Shot%202022-05-28%20at%205.34.05%20PM.png" width="642" /></a></div><br /><br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>May is <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mental_Health_Awareness_Month" target="_blank">Mental Health Awareness Month</a> and also the month that in 2002 began the worst summer of my life. I call it the <i><span style="color: #b45f06;">Summer of Discombobulation</span></i> because within two months time: my Nonne died; my college sweetheart Chris was found dead; I left the company that I had spent my whole career at; and it was my sister's big out of town wedding extravaganza (which was happy and wonderful but was hard to be up and peppy for when it felt like my whole world was crumbling down around me). </div><div><div><p></p><p>Oh, and did I mention I was still recovering from a breakup. <i>Ya, it suuuucked!!!!</i></p><p>I was so so sad and had white-knuckled it through until that Fall when I hit a breaking point and needed to do something. So I attended a weekend workshop: <a href="https://www.landmarkworldwide.com/" target="_blank">Landmark Forum</a>. And,<i> hated it!</i> Well I hated the first day, then got food poisoning the second day (from a local lunch spot, not their fault)... but then on the third day it all came together and I've never been the same since. There has been plenty written about Landmark so let me be clear, yes it is a little cult-y in that you get pretty high on the transformation you undergo and then they want you to tell everyone you know about it; but no, it's not a cult. I can't be sure if this is what they actually meant to teach us but this is what I got out of it...</p><p>The key to understanding life is that we suffer because we're <i><b>meaning-making-machines</b></i> that take our past experiences and interpret what's happening now through those old tainted lens. So when <span style="color: #ffa400;"><b>X</b></span> happens we project our past onto the situation and tell ourselves a story (<span style="color: #e06666;"><b>Y</b></span>) about what's happening as a way to understand its meaning which we then believe is the whole and real truth when it's simply just <i>our</i> version of what we <i>choose</i> to believe.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirrQ6DbC_vNO52txq8EGHk1BmIF09nRcNGy0QHspVMi2UfO97FXKP2MWngBEunV-zLL8twjYNcMBSlO13D7wdetgRgiYgrkYVUQIq51W6I7UHCPUvigogJl2SpIWKtKP08TwsDbLYyHk-bI04mNtgN9LgfG8IM4RteIlviRM3bvVvS7r8vNqDM5oMmsg/s968/Screen%20Shot%202022-05-28%20at%205.25.26%20PM.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="630" data-original-width="968" height="208" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirrQ6DbC_vNO52txq8EGHk1BmIF09nRcNGy0QHspVMi2UfO97FXKP2MWngBEunV-zLL8twjYNcMBSlO13D7wdetgRgiYgrkYVUQIq51W6I7UHCPUvigogJl2SpIWKtKP08TwsDbLYyHk-bI04mNtgN9LgfG8IM4RteIlviRM3bvVvS7r8vNqDM5oMmsg/s320/Screen%20Shot%202022-05-28%20at%205.25.26%20PM.png" width="320" /></a></div><div><br /></div>It seems like a simple concept but until it really clicks in your head you would swear both the past wounds you're carrying around with you and what you're currently thinking are true. Once you break free of the collapse of these two distinct things you see the world much differently. Only way I could explain it is that I felt like Pinocchio once his strings had been cut: <i>I'm free!!</i><div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="text-align: left;"><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMltqEHkDSWS2zc-mU_ajdtrYh5DWLheB97lZ0Pzah8NGo178U5s0S9kPHPJpMIS8XTbo9hR0ymVA5J5xbFe04mYWC8U3IOifsFcjlH5yH44Wxu-X1r2QLoBpxSJ3HQAYLvD_QMKBjpnGLCluQflgCQfkaJdkB_KtsPZu-Yo6pTB9PDW4B4SPudGwwfA/s636/Screen%20Shot%202022-05-29%20at%201.17.31%20AM.png" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="636" data-original-width="464" height="384" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMltqEHkDSWS2zc-mU_ajdtrYh5DWLheB97lZ0Pzah8NGo178U5s0S9kPHPJpMIS8XTbo9hR0ymVA5J5xbFe04mYWC8U3IOifsFcjlH5yH44Wxu-X1r2QLoBpxSJ3HQAYLvD_QMKBjpnGLCluQflgCQfkaJdkB_KtsPZu-Yo6pTB9PDW4B4SPudGwwfA/w280-h384/Screen%20Shot%202022-05-29%20at%201.17.31%20AM.png" width="280" /></a></div></span>This was truly a profound experience for me but as liberating as it was it also made me nauseated at how messy my emotions had been and how sick I was of so much of my life. Which lead me to begin sketching out all the things that were bugging me and not the way I wanted them to be. That lead me to creating a mind map of my life which after I got engrossed in working on eventually morphed into <a href="#">Me Mapping</a>.</div></span></div></div><div><div><br /></div><div>I realized the goal of my life was to be as happy and joyfully grateful as I could be π</div><div><br /></div><div>I don't always achieve it, but even when bad things have happened in the last 20 years I've never felt as sad as I was that summer. And it is because I know the story I tell myself isn't the end of it. I can interpret whatever is happening in a more empowering way.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZBdnuLwki3Y9CLCjGFKN-aO0Xdq8Ex7rKgz1saQWRPIHBZ2NOUkiyQOy3z5xsbPoFl-mdfg6wz9LB4vIfIrbh0u9rsj4fVBZ5rTA1dUgTt1yFc9Hh367_IrLNl0QO20z-Hwr3v3cn96MgFzcJvvZsbuOnM0WuvfuJthsKYRmvh5strQglaS55KHFYBQ/s1120/Screen%20Shot%202022-05-28%20at%206.27.08%20PM.png" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1120" data-original-width="896" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZBdnuLwki3Y9CLCjGFKN-aO0Xdq8Ex7rKgz1saQWRPIHBZ2NOUkiyQOy3z5xsbPoFl-mdfg6wz9LB4vIfIrbh0u9rsj4fVBZ5rTA1dUgTt1yFc9Hh367_IrLNl0QO20z-Hwr3v3cn96MgFzcJvvZsbuOnM0WuvfuJthsKYRmvh5strQglaS55KHFYBQ/s320/Screen%20Shot%202022-05-28%20at%206.27.08%20PM.png" width="256" /></a></div>Now my discombobulation was situational and I did the work of reading a lot, attending that program and seeing a great therapist, so had the ability to dig my way out my funk. But my beloved Chris had mental health issues that he couldn't reason his way out of. He had been diagnosed with bipolar manic-depression in his early 20's and even though he was a super smart guy he ended up dying from the stubbornness of not taking his medication. It is the saddest thing ever to know someone you love would be here today if they only could have accepted help. </div><div><br /></div><div>Chris was an athlete, an engineer that contributed to several important projects, a loving brother and the greatest first-love a girl could have. He was brilliant, funny, giving, could dance all night and would rub my feet after my waitressing shifts which was so dreamy. My family loved him and I miss him all the time especially when I see a gadget he would have marveled at and wanted to take apart and improve. He was the sweetest most decent person when he was well but even geniuses need help when they're not in their right mind. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSAb1uoXYnSjsCS0R1n2kYTnwpm3cbcJ5ykQf5KrBSYiUsE9NfSgXWvH2r_w6y8A2A4DvAGPumQxNxb2U4EvB45tu9dvDd41NWh3ng-6Ft5fUhzDsy8e5gt6izNbGjlkhiTtW4Cmi3MCC9iyDMgaCOfsCms4DpqkAZRLRjc7APFOEYJkELEUlVLyjXfg/s404/Joy.png" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="404" data-original-width="404" height="177" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSAb1uoXYnSjsCS0R1n2kYTnwpm3cbcJ5ykQf5KrBSYiUsE9NfSgXWvH2r_w6y8A2A4DvAGPumQxNxb2U4EvB45tu9dvDd41NWh3ng-6Ft5fUhzDsy8e5gt6izNbGjlkhiTtW4Cmi3MCC9iyDMgaCOfsCms4DpqkAZRLRjc7APFOEYJkELEUlVLyjXfg/w177-h177/Joy.png" width="177" /></a></div></div><div>I shared at the start of this <a href="https://joymeredith.blogspot.com/search/label/HTH22" target="_blank">How to Happy</a> series that I use <i>perspective</i>, <i>gratitude</i> and <i>remembering death</i> as my happiness pillars. But the only way to use your mind to get to those thoughts is if it's healthy. I know for certain Chris wouldn't have purposely left this world (or me and those he loved) but mental illness is <i>deadly</i>. So take this as a reminder to invest some energy into your mental health and wellbeing, map things out if you don't know where to start, and please, please get help if you need it. Someone will miss you if you're not here. And you deserve to be as joyful as possible while you are.</div><div><br /></div><div><i>May</i> we all be mentally well and <i><span style="color: #e06666;"><b>Happy Happy</b></span></i> in our journey through life! <br /></div></div></div></div></div>Joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16547778178373113962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5706046824712094963.post-14938941031622270162022-03-20T19:47:00.006-05:002022-05-30T15:14:49.349-05:00Happy Body<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhz1d7ZZRsazXIs2rFJznPuK52zH5p2FgUnWKVP-FCBtR7pxfghSjW-zqk4u9O6Ct_W_jSmlAiEn7LH4T6YOHYPtTifSJ8Nc-iIEB6Z7sYCI_j9nKzFfYGUEI7lfAHUSeGA17VGfWTSAjhDQ_VUg99yDBZjB1u2B53gRNJKpEh_0EBvraa5wLrJesipFA=s1692" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="910" data-original-width="1692" height="287" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhz1d7ZZRsazXIs2rFJznPuK52zH5p2FgUnWKVP-FCBtR7pxfghSjW-zqk4u9O6Ct_W_jSmlAiEn7LH4T6YOHYPtTifSJ8Nc-iIEB6Z7sYCI_j9nKzFfYGUEI7lfAHUSeGA17VGfWTSAjhDQ_VUg99yDBZjB1u2B53gRNJKpEh_0EBvraa5wLrJesipFA=w534-h287" width="534" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>When I was in my 20's and working for Sony I was up in Minnesota for an event I was hosting and was having an annoying morning. It was super early, it was raining, I had stopped to get bagels to bring to the staff and so I was tired, my feet were wet, my hands full and no one was answering the front door. I was crabby!<div><br /></div><div>Just as I'm about to get mad, I see someone coming to let me in. And as I look up at this early hour I can't quite compute what I'm seeing but it was a young guy with no hands opening the door. He had nothing from the elbows down and so he's bending down to open the lock and then stands back and greets me with a huge smile.</div><div><br /></div><div>I was startled. And then confused. How had he just done that with no fingers and so fast? </div><div><br /></div><div>My feet dried, the bagels were enjoyed and then later in the morning this guy came over and started asking me questions about our new pro-sumer camera and I marveled at how charming and smart and totally unselfconscious he was. He knew his stuff, knew himself and was not letting his missings make his morning anything but sunny. Wet shoes and sore arms had almost ruined my morning, what a spoiled brat!</div><div><br /></div><div>Ever since, whenever I've had a bad-body-day it never fails that I almost immediately see someone with a <i>real </i>challenge that snaps me back to the reality of how amazing my body is. </div><div><br /></div><div>Like <a href="https://joymeredith.blogspot.com/2022/01/how-to-happy.html" target="_blank">I talked about</a> a few post back: millions of people would gladly trade places with us. </div><div><br /></div><div>From an early age I'd always been one of the tallest kids in my grade and it made me feel like a giant. Luckily my parents were both tall and would talk about how great it was to be tall, so even though I had no sports desire/talent, I knew there were people out there that valued tallness. But even so, I wished I was shorter so I fit in more with my friends and had more options in boys who would ask me to dance.</div><div><br /></div><div>Before I digress into the shortage of tall guys to date (pun intended π), the point is we always want what we think is "better". But we have simply been brainwashed into judging one kind of body as better than another and ours no matter how healthy and wonderful it is, is not as beautiful as it should be. Well, that's ridiculous! </div><div><br /></div><div>Trust me, I don't love the aging process and the middle-age spread and I myself am currently at the fluffiest I have ever been. But, fuck-it... we are alive! We lived through a pandemic- so <i>yay us!!</i> I joked to a friend of mine that as much as I hate it, this metabolism is what kept <i>my</i> people alive during the great-potato-famine so I should be grateful for these genes π₯ π</div><div><br /></div><div>Ok, but seriously... I often get asked about my confidence and here is the key: </div><blockquote><div><b><i><span style="color: #38761d; font-family: helvetica; font-size: large;">Focus on what is great about you!</span></i></b></div></blockquote><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEj-GfWboTV8FPrt2p9dfGFeHOq-IPJS2NZmojwUQv3DOp6BnFZzmUqW-Fp6kzUC4IzZD3XTZN5sZxQsoAi5a8w9UDx3RD5BQB--ZonRtT0foHyqWscDnrtjWYBJTlLuiNpf6ew8HVGdoBbuhVMBL_C3pDybPS56WkoxIPYay3QbP2akCrrBIx3EVPrinQ=s2752" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2752" data-original-width="1636" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEj-GfWboTV8FPrt2p9dfGFeHOq-IPJS2NZmojwUQv3DOp6BnFZzmUqW-Fp6kzUC4IzZD3XTZN5sZxQsoAi5a8w9UDx3RD5BQB--ZonRtT0foHyqWscDnrtjWYBJTlLuiNpf6ew8HVGdoBbuhVMBL_C3pDybPS56WkoxIPYay3QbP2akCrrBIx3EVPrinQ=s320" width="190" /></a></div><div>If you do that you will have a much happier life. And here is what I mean: no one is perfect so focus your attentions on what you think is beautiful about you and others will begin to see, if nothing else, your glow of self love. For example, I have beautiful eyes. When I was a kid I wanted dark brown eyes like my Mom or light blue eyes like my Dad, so I was super bummed to have hazel eyes. That was until one day I got something stuck in my eye and while looking in a mirror I realized I had <i><b>both</b></i> brown and blue in my eyes. And also flecks of gold! </div><div><br /></div><div>I'm no supermodel but I have sparkly eyes and when someone looks at me that's one of the first things they compliment. So now you go...</div><div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i><b><span style="font-size: large;">What's something beautiful about you? </span></b></i></div></blockquote><div><br /></div><div>If you don't see a dozen things, I suggest you ask a friend, or me, and I will list them for you. Because like everything in our lives if you look for what's not great you'll find it, but if you look for the JOY you'll find <i>that</i>. </div><div><br /></div><div>Another thing I wanted when I was younger was tan skin even though I am super pasty. Well now I know better, so I no longer bake in the sun covered in baby-oil, but instead hydrate, moisturize, get enough sleep and appreciate how soft and feminine my skin is. </div><div><br /></div><div>There is ALWAYS going to be prettier, fitter, smarter... pick a category ... people to compare ourselves with. So why do that? Instead, be grateful for whatever you have. If you want to change something, heck ya go for it! But love yourself while you're working on yourself too. And besides, we are all attracted to different forms of beauty. I happen to like bald men, some short guys love tall women... the cankles you hate are going to turn someone else on π</div><div><br /></div><div>Picasso made his art stand out for just focusing in on what he thought was interesting in the essence of person. You got a crooked nose, rock it! Weird ears, I hear ya! Big booty, shake it! You are a <i>masterpiece</i> and so love your body and focus solely on how gorgeous you are and I promise you will be even that much more beautiful, <span style="color: #cc0000;"><a href="https://joymeredith.blogspot.com/2022/01/theme-2022.html" target="_blank">Happy Happy</a></span> and JOYful π</div>Joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16547778178373113962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5706046824712094963.post-46035555891204658622022-02-18T17:00:00.007-06:002022-08-27T16:08:48.183-05:00Happy Dating [Part 2]: SEX<p><span style="font-family: verdana;">π¨</span><b style="font-family: verdana;">Warning</b><span style="font-family: verdana;">: Do not read this post if you don't want to know about my sexlife π</span></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjqoYjMw9WD36BDycvW8dTudMEeHB6L3IXhPvaZLIXfLkcKIAEQ4b5K2Q8zgvXBdiv6j6E9yVZjwzgKLkePN4xQBowls8jjtEFEJ2Wic0Xj2de2W076hqEGNgcVOchj2H-rHBojgf9RL0a3ppsNkqohE1qN9FRKEN5Z-mOYwEKpQoHeEyiJmHmafSabkA=s1200" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="657" data-original-width="1200" height="273" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjqoYjMw9WD36BDycvW8dTudMEeHB6L3IXhPvaZLIXfLkcKIAEQ4b5K2Q8zgvXBdiv6j6E9yVZjwzgKLkePN4xQBowls8jjtEFEJ2Wic0Xj2de2W076hqEGNgcVOchj2H-rHBojgf9RL0a3ppsNkqohE1qN9FRKEN5Z-mOYwEKpQoHeEyiJmHmafSabkA=w499-h273" width="499" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: helvetica; font-size: x-large;"><b><i></i><h1><i>I'm great in bed!</i></h1></b></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">Not bragging but I just know my strengths: bad at dating, <i>great</i> at sex<b> π</b></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">This is a continuation from the <a href="https://joymeredith.blogspot.com/2022/02/happy-dating.html" target="_blank">last post</a> because with dating comes<i> sex</i> and I think we should talk about it. I believe there are two keys to being <i>great in bed</i>:</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: verdana; font-size: large;"><b>SAFETY</b></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">I do not do casual sex. Like Sally, I am all mushy and oxytocin'd* up after a good session and so I don't do that unless I feel comfortable and connected with someone. Here are the top things I do to feel safe when dating/sexing:</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><b>Keep My Number Private</b></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">If you're on the apps the goal is to get off the apps... but <b>DO NOT</b> give anyone your number until <i>after</i> the first date and you know you want to go on a second. Just say: </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><blockquote><i>I don't give out my number until after our first date for my own safety and privacy.</i></blockquote></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">There are a couple reasons for this: the main one is to avoid scammers that want your data/info but the other is that they'll Google you and know all about you before they even meet you. I had a guy tell me that he had looked me up and <i>I was what he was looking for</i> because he had seen a lot about me online. He did give me his info after he told me that and he was not a creepy stalker, but I want them to meet me first before they <i>think</i> they know me. If they push you, it's a π©<br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><b>Meet in the Middle</b></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">For the first few dates I always ask to meet in the middle of where we both live. Main reason is I don't want them knowing where I live nor even put on the table that they might be coming back home with me. Also, I want to keep my favorite local places to myself until I know I wouldn't mind seeing them there if things didn't work out.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><b>How They Breakup</b></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">Before you start things with anyone it's good to know how things might end. One for your safety but also for your mental health. Did they have a mutual parting with the last few people they dated; did someone end up crushed; are all their exes crazy? How they've done it in the past is how things will likely end with you. Are they mature, communicative, kind, sane or are they a manipulative asshole? You're going to get naked with them, it's OK to ask, and if they're a jerk about it don't give them that honor! </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><b>Condoms</b></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">You must use condoms. Don't care if they say they do not have STIs or were recently tested. People lie. Lie about what they have and who they are doing. I've had friends who have caught everything from herpes to HIV to ended up pregnant- so use protection. And this is also a good way to tell if they respect their body and yours too. No condom, no sex.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><b>V-Vibe</b></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">Is there even the hint of <i>violence</i> in how they treat you, how they talk to you if they don't get their way, how they refer to their exes or anyone else in their life? </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">If so, RUN!! Your safety is the most important thing <i>ever</i>. You can't take a chance on this and you can't change anyone, so RUN! They are not your person: Period.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><b>Worse Case</b></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">You're going to want to feel safe and good about sleeping with someone, but what if things don't go well? Will you regret being with them? Don't sleep with anyone you'll be devastated to have walk away after because unfortunately some will.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: verdana; font-size: large;"><b>SEX</b></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><b>Start with You</b></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">The key to good sex with someone else is to start with good sex with yourself. I have great sex with my partner because I know what turns me on and how to get myself off. I love it when I'm being sexual with someone because I'm there to not only participate in their pleasure but help them help me get to where we both want to be... if you know what I mean, and I know that you do π </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><b><br /></b></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><b>Nooky List</b></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjbdKBHc1RAuR_k-XSutj2yRzrRFimJnji0xSyOXrR_hKsh8XlZP0nuX-SzPmrQB6-CRFuJJuDCtFTyRp76tlL35S6ERUCtjqLtmYd3m2_uFJ-aWIIM7kJwPc_zt28w3dwZCP8yQYuOw_uMiSIUrZaR1FF07WrBffoQl5q77z5GSL78l39ptNCM_hr6zg=s1115" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1115" data-original-width="613" height="296" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjbdKBHc1RAuR_k-XSutj2yRzrRFimJnji0xSyOXrR_hKsh8XlZP0nuX-SzPmrQB6-CRFuJJuDCtFTyRp76tlL35S6ERUCtjqLtmYd3m2_uFJ-aWIIM7kJwPc_zt28w3dwZCP8yQYuOw_uMiSIUrZaR1FF07WrBffoQl5q77z5GSL78l39ptNCM_hr6zg=w162-h296" width="162" /></a></div><span style="font-family: verdana;">We're not kids anymore and so as middle-aged people it's a bit ridiculous to be <i>paradise-by-the-dashboard-light-</i>ing it with sex. I don't need to get them to promise to love me in the mooorrrrning and make me their wife... I simply don't want to jump right into bed before I know and really like them. Yet, I also get it's confusing to know what is respectful when things start getting hot and heavy. And I for sure do not enjoy <i>Wonder Woman</i>-ing it and having to bing-bing-bing ward off advances. So my solution, and hold the judgement until you try it, is to map it out. Now come on, I mean you really should have seen this one coming- ha! Once sex comes up, I think it's a good idea to sketch out on a napkin or in iNotes what will work for you.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">A NOOKy List is used to spell out what you find the No's and the Ok's of fooling around. </span><span style="font-family: verdana;">Get it... Nooky!! π</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">As far as how long to wait and what'll work for you, I have no idea. I've <i>tried</i> to use Matchmaker Maria's </span><a href="https://www.instagram.com/stories/highlights/17897254813988697/" style="font-family: verdana;" target="_blank">12-date Rule</a><span style="font-family: verdana;">. Her philosophy is that you're all hormone'd up and not thinking rationally the first several dates so if you want a real connection with someone you should wait until you know if you're truly a match and 12-dates is a good number to get beyond chemistry and into compatibility.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"> </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">And there is no saying you can't, if you feel safe and connected, change your mind and go for it sooner. Just keep in mind how they make you feel. I once had a guy say he respected my boundaries, even if he tries to test them. Uhm, you don't test someone's boundaries if they told you directly what they are, that's the very definition of not respecting them. Clearly, should have been my π©</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><b>EnJOY</b></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">Once you decide you're ready: go for it and have fun! Sex is a natural, thrilling, wonderful way to connect with another human being. It's a special gift but not one to be hidden away or shamed about or put up on a shelf because we're no longer 20-yr-old hotties. Once you find someone you feel safe with get your sexy on and have a <span style="color: #e06666;"><b>Happy Happy</b></span> time! </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">Life is short~ date, sex & if you don't find your love, keep doing it until you do </span><span color="rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.85)" style="font-family: ".Apple Color Emoji UI";"><span style="font-size: medium;">β€οΈ</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana; font-size: x-small;">*The love/bonding hormone that leads to feeling all loved up.</span></div><p></p>Joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16547778178373113962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5706046824712094963.post-68583293684172752512022-02-06T22:50:00.014-06:002022-05-28T20:31:53.004-05:00Happy Dating<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiuJJxdGsK54pwLNSekbexeHrrmjzRv72FNq1IdokacxPGntaGu1z41lUtalHofJrfEsmDJyazIkeM5FJeGzBYStxTXoyW71nzUwfz0OEF6ACra3Rl25Blq0fPJ13hXxhpxoO4Rqfhmv_ndzQnQ7xTKvpfqhrHy-rpt2wdvCRWmRMfRh_BzCK4yk0Fwfg=s824" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="824" data-original-width="820" height="367" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiuJJxdGsK54pwLNSekbexeHrrmjzRv72FNq1IdokacxPGntaGu1z41lUtalHofJrfEsmDJyazIkeM5FJeGzBYStxTXoyW71nzUwfz0OEF6ACra3Rl25Blq0fPJ13hXxhpxoO4Rqfhmv_ndzQnQ7xTKvpfqhrHy-rpt2wdvCRWmRMfRh_BzCK4yk0Fwfg=w365-h367" width="365" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I should start by stating upfront that I am not a great dater- <i>no really! </i>I'm only jumping into share this topic because we're in <i><span style="color: #cc0000;"><b>love month</b></span></i> and I have learned a lot about what <i>not</i> to do when you're single. So take this all with a caution that I really have no idea what I'm talking about <span color="rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.85)" style="font-family: ".Apple Color Emoji UI";">β οΈ</span></div><p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Ok, that said... let me share my 2022 dating philosophy: </div><blockquote><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><i><span style="color: #f1c232;">It's a numbers game, try on your non-types and make sure to have some fun!</span></i></div></blockquote><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I've spent a good deal of my adult life in longterm relationships so when I found myself single four years ago the first thing I did was heal myself from what was not a great end to a heartbreaking loveaffair. Therapy. Reading. Then when I was ready I got cajoled into online dating which I had always sworn was <i>so</i> not me. Well, especially now, if you want to date and expect to get your best options you need be open to sample what's available online. And since this was new territory I sought some expertise and started following some pros-- my favs are:</div><p></p><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/matchmakermaria/" target="_blank">Matchmaker Maria (of the"12-date rule" fame)</a></div><p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/thelovedrive/" target="_blank">The Love Drive (a man's perspective)</a></div><p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/smartdatingacademy/" target="_blank">Bela Gandhi (the psychotic-optimist)</a> </div><p></p></blockquote><p>I also pulled off the shelf my pal Amy's fantastic book: <i><a href="https://meetingyourhalforange.com/" target="_blank">Meeting Your Half-Orange</a></i>. This little nugget alone changed my dating mindset:</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgJ3Nswnw3pvAXLIO-9bZ4sLqgq0GOZ2jgKIaDs-MiYE75tHKx9WDT1pVV7KpTTX_NJwLpgHaauzGazUiEelv3f3mM8kg2OfOcLdslVRI24SJUM9UmeFJK8nB2PGffQO18AFgrQRQAapiyPXthoRewGZhCGKon4KlL-P4dhmDdVhVmnKLe3Tr-7zL4Q2A=s1472" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="872" data-original-width="1472" height="399" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgJ3Nswnw3pvAXLIO-9bZ4sLqgq0GOZ2jgKIaDs-MiYE75tHKx9WDT1pVV7KpTTX_NJwLpgHaauzGazUiEelv3f3mM8kg2OfOcLdslVRI24SJUM9UmeFJK8nB2PGffQO18AFgrQRQAapiyPXthoRewGZhCGKon4KlL-P4dhmDdVhVmnKLe3Tr-7zL4Q2A=w685-h399" width="685" /></a></div><br /><div><br /></div>Basically, we need to think of dating as a <b>Match Game</b>- if you don't flip over your love-monkey π΅π nothing's wrong... you're just not looking for an elephant. <div><br /></div><div>When I began to think of it that way I realized it's not a bad thing to meet and release those that are not a match, it's just one person closer to the one that will be. </div><div><br /></div><div>For years I had told my single friends that were dating that you need to meet at least 20 people before you'll find one you'll really like. Ha! Easy to advise, hard to do when it was my turn. It's exhausting to connect with lots of people that aren't your person. And in these pandemic-y politically charged times it's also a little scary as well. So here are my best tips thus far:</div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Join <b><span style="color: #f1c232;">Bumble</span></b> to start. Lifetime membership is $230 and worth the cost because I've found it's the highest quality easiest to manage site. The filters alone are worth it.</li><li><b>Crushes</b>: Author Gretchen Rubin shared a friend's philosophy that it is always better to have <a href="https://gretchenrubin.com/podcast-episode/a-little-happier-crush/" target="_blank">more than one crush</a> at a time so you're not needy and don't get overly-invested too soon. I think 3 crushes is ideal π</li><li><b>Screeners</b>: Trust me I hate that this is necessary but I do ask people three questions before I agree to date them: </li><ul><ul><li>Are you vax'd? </li><li>Did you vote for Trump?</li><li>Do you believe in the <i>literal</i> word of the Bible?</li></ul></ul></ul></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">Yes, I'm open to meeting people of differing opinions but I've found these are values-dealbreakers for me and I had to implement them after several run-ins with anti-vax-Trumpers who feel if only I believed in a talking snake we would be perfect together π³Again, this is why paying extra for filtering is SO worth it!</div></blockquote><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><b>Pre-Meet</b>: I am a big fan of a call or video chat before you agree to meet up for a face-to-face date. Saves you the time, energy and disappointment of an awkward encounter. I've found if they don't want to speak before you meet there is probably a good reason (if you know what I mean).</li><li><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgBzbNfedR4O00NFqQZ8IqvvW3ezp9LSGMd2RNUn_E92vLK54898MTEAtqojuh10J43fJWVEmka6vYVV7v2mfYVnRg3G-AEfIrRvVCirnFqfy3FN2Zj4W3IftFs4d4FQT7saQ-ukB77VKBkbSH-8kwTrg3gmI95FIcGfxYMaC8o6GefevQYEooAlD60rA=s911" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="911" data-original-width="619" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgBzbNfedR4O00NFqQZ8IqvvW3ezp9LSGMd2RNUn_E92vLK54898MTEAtqojuh10J43fJWVEmka6vYVV7v2mfYVnRg3G-AEfIrRvVCirnFqfy3FN2Zj4W3IftFs4d4FQT7saQ-ukB77VKBkbSH-8kwTrg3gmI95FIcGfxYMaC8o6GefevQYEooAlD60rA=s320" width="217" /></a></div><b>Good Karma</b>: Dating's hard for everyone. So the least we owe each other is to be kind. For me when I know someone is not my match I try and send them off with some compliments and if possible the reason I am wishing them well and unmatching. </li><ul><li>It doesn't always go <i>this</i> nicely but that's my goal. Had to move on from cute-Ken because though he wasn't anti-vax he hadn't gotten his by late summer and that was not going to work for me. Even though he had his solid rationale (and a minor in microbiology), I couldn't get over his reasoning so I sent him the kindest note I could explaining why. I think it's the least we can do for each other. </li><li>The other thing I've discovered is people pop back up on other sites or in real life (like at a friend's birthday party π¬) so don't ghost or be jerky unless they really deserve it. </li></ul><li><b>Try Them On</b>: My sister thinks I have a type- she's not wrong mind you- but I have gone off type before. Actually way way off type, but that didn't work out so great so I was back to looking for what I thought I wanted when I got <i>a like</i> from a guy who I had already passed on. But when he showed back up again I gave him a chance and sent him a rather playfully sarcastic note about how I didn't think we were a match but was I missing something?</li></ul></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">He sent back a funny confident reply that had me amused and intrigued... and yada yada yada... a few days later gave me one of the best kisses I've ever had! So, though he didn't match my image of what I wanted he was definitely worth the try-on.</div></blockquote><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><b>Modify the List</b>: My friend Diane tells of how she got serious about what she was looking for and made a map of the qualities she wanted and then her Dave appeared. <a href="https://joymeredith.blogspot.com/2014/12/jump-start-with-joy.html" target="_blank">Which is a great story and start.</a> But I've learned now that I'm older different things are more important than even a few years ago: kindness, calm, self-awareness. I'd rather have a person who loves what he does then shows off what he has; cares about listening to me and creating together how we want things to go; that gets why his previous relationship wasn't his last and can own his part in it. <i>That's sexy as hell to me now!! </i></li></ul></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">Today I care less about his looks and more about how it feels when our legs touch while deep in conversation; he can be shorter if he's got a huge heart; and if he's working out some large challenges but has great communication skills, watch out I'm a goner π</div></blockquote><div><br /></div><div>Ok, so a few other small random tidbits:</div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Guys say they like humor and are "fluent in sarcasm" but don't test this notion until you meet them and make sure they're at least as funny as you are. Learned this the hard way (sorry, CL π).</li><li>Text only in the first 48hours then meet or at least talk before more texting. It's really easy to be misinterepted and have things go off the rails or acquire a texting-buddy which is not good for moving things along.</li><li>Dating is suppose to be fun... so get a few cute outfits, have some light stories you can share if you get nervous, and remember if it doesn't feel fun you never have to see them again... and if does, <i>YAY</i> you might get to see them again!</li><li>We never know what someone is looking for so just be you and if you're not their person that's great you now have another card turned over and one less non-monkey to worry about.</li><li>If you're joining an online site make sure you have a friend take some new flattering pics of you. Don't cut your ex out of old pics or use ones that don't look recent. If we're friends, I'll even do them for you. You deserve to go in with the best <i>snapshot </i>of what you have to offer -- of course, no false-advertising but certainly don't sell yourself short either!</li></ul><div>When I <a href="http://www.creatingyouryear.com/" target="_blank">mapped out 2022</a> and got to the <span style="color: #cc0000;"><span><b>[Love]</b></span> </span>category I created that I would connect with 50 possibilities this year. Match and release, meet and make out, or maybe fall madly in love? </div><div>Who knows... but I wanted to up my game and take more chances and lean into a <a href="https://joymeredith.blogspot.com/2022/01/theme-2022.html" target="_blank">Happy Happy</a> lovelife. </div><div><br /></div><div>I am better this year at dating than I've ever been. I'm finally having a good time with it. And I don't know how things will be by yearend but I know happiness and Joy can be fun with a sprinkle of lust and love mixed in. So I hope you have love in your life in all forms... and if you're single come try out some Happy Dating with me-- why not? </div><div><b><span style="color: #cc0000;">Love</span></b> is a lovely way to <b><span style="color: #cc0000;">Happy</span> </b>π</div></div>Joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16547778178373113962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5706046824712094963.post-11919904244131779542022-01-22T17:18:00.159-06:002022-05-28T20:30:07.015-05:00How to Happy <p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><div style="text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi4rjeZ21crS8N3NRIzElBZNDSjwwymVGYad7ArS_7ICRbRAptSaxAV7ZyGNqbYnaDmAvyYcWH8uabYJ_qS8kAwoyGV-sdCQGTve_LLUwTUv1pBJpDiIYobfdQqUYbuNyLiT9n5IODJEuY5B8yOWePOdWsWqsTIe5ld94liicqdiuLhk-Jmt5hP8W8qzQ=s1202" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1202" data-original-width="952" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi4rjeZ21crS8N3NRIzElBZNDSjwwymVGYad7ArS_7ICRbRAptSaxAV7ZyGNqbYnaDmAvyYcWH8uabYJ_qS8kAwoyGV-sdCQGTve_LLUwTUv1pBJpDiIYobfdQqUYbuNyLiT9n5IODJEuY5B8yOWePOdWsWqsTIe5ld94liicqdiuLhk-Jmt5hP8W8qzQ=s320" width="253" /></a></div><div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi4rjeZ21crS8N3NRIzElBZNDSjwwymVGYad7ArS_7ICRbRAptSaxAV7ZyGNqbYnaDmAvyYcWH8uabYJ_qS8kAwoyGV-sdCQGTve_LLUwTUv1pBJpDiIYobfdQqUYbuNyLiT9n5IODJEuY5B8yOWePOdWsWqsTIe5ld94liicqdiuLhk-Jmt5hP8W8qzQ=s1202" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"></a></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">When I posted my theme for the year [<b><span style="color: #e06666;"><a href="https://www.legacy.com/us/obituaries/dailyherald/name/manfred-klemm-obituary?id=22685777" target="_blank">Happy Happy!</a></span></b>] three weeks back I had an old friend post this:</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhs6cWPjrRgmRy0iAUp2r2nDi5nC0XrMEIO21VSjsrcHwS2tvpvud6i7xCifvHzZ9vNXYoJ4JbAs8hg_xOVWxzXNSHmDH4WAEg1oDuxXrYsmFSvZpA5ZfPw2V3nG4SnsczL6eYSXjsgCdn5SDoTH7TlqRyw-LEzcv8ycZ6k9qPLenXLHdr2-R2NDLBMAA=s704" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="190" data-original-width="704" height="86" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhs6cWPjrRgmRy0iAUp2r2nDi5nC0XrMEIO21VSjsrcHwS2tvpvud6i7xCifvHzZ9vNXYoJ4JbAs8hg_xOVWxzXNSHmDH4WAEg1oDuxXrYsmFSvZpA5ZfPw2V3nG4SnsczL6eYSXjsgCdn5SDoTH7TlqRyw-LEzcv8ycZ6k9qPLenXLHdr2-R2NDLBMAA=s320" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Listen, the name of this space is <b>Finding JOY</b> because that is what I work on and practice. It doesn't mean I've got it figured out, it means here is where I explore finding more joy in my life.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">But hey, if someone asks for directions and I have even the faintest idea where to head I try and point the way. So after a few weeks of pondering here are my 3 main keys on how to happy... </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">First you should know as a youngster I was a pretty happy kid. Sure there was the heartbreak of getting my first bike and not being able to find a license-plate with my name on it like all the other kids had. But even that upset was a reflection of my greatest gift: <i>my name</i>. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg01rlSodv1YXIP7wu3MhR4V5-79j-CLq3NObGsQoI1kYBSzWkIQa3Aesp0MGTqCs2Wg0IByjMstBwwPs1bT27KikD1nOvyuZTCzHop_wuvz0_HIv_hLYFb0ilipKeOCoFvo2HHauDLiruWExU9Zkb6nMpTYngW68J-zPzDRzBPXz4L5QOsKt4GaPWAdw=s1274" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1196" data-original-width="1274" height="238" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg01rlSodv1YXIP7wu3MhR4V5-79j-CLq3NObGsQoI1kYBSzWkIQa3Aesp0MGTqCs2Wg0IByjMstBwwPs1bT27KikD1nOvyuZTCzHop_wuvz0_HIv_hLYFb0ilipKeOCoFvo2HHauDLiruWExU9Zkb6nMpTYngW68J-zPzDRzBPXz4L5QOsKt4GaPWAdw=w255-h238" width="255" /></a></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">My mother named me <i>Joy</i>, so it was like a built-in quest. I couldn't be a moody mean girl if I had such a friendly upbeat name. I won't ever know for sure but I think I had no other choice but to try and be at least a little bit happy. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Now let's be clear, when I turned 8 things did actually become less than ideal when my parents divorced while I was just becoming a preteen. My life was not super-duper for many years, but I still tried to look for the good stuff and things were mostly hunky-dory. Did I love being one of the tallest girls in class? <i>Nope.</i> Did I enjoy having to live in two places? <i>Not quite.</i> Did I relish being the mother-hen to my siblings and having to grow up prematurely fast- <i>no, no I did not!</i> But this takes me to my first nugget on happiness... </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">π€ </span>When I was around 16 I was over at my friend Linda's house when we were complaining about something (I'm gonna guess boy-related) and looking up from eating his lunch <a href="https://www.legacy.com/us/obituaries/dailyherald/name/manfred-klemm-obituary?id=22685777" target="_blank">her father</a>, a man who had come to the US from Germany after having lived through WWII as a child, slammed his hand down on the table and exclaimed: </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><blockquote><i>You silly girls, even on your worst day millions would gladly trade places with you. </i></blockquote></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Talk about a life lesson from the source of real knowing. He had seen some horrible things when he was our age and it must have been beyond annoying to hear us be so ridiculous. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">So the first place to look for happy is in: <b>Perspective. </b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> </div><span style="font-size: xx-large;">π</span><span style="font-size: xx-large;"> </span>That lesson hit me hard and has stayed with me for over 30 years, but it doesn't mean I don't forget it all the time. So its companion lesson is: <b>Gratitude</b>. Because not only would millions want to be us but they would be truly grateful to have even a small portion of what we've been lucky enough to possess.<div> <br />And I'm not talking the latest iPhone, I'm talking a toilet. <a href="https://joymeredith.blogspot.com/search?q=toilet" target="_blank">A decade ago</a> I came across a posting for <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_Toilet_Day" target="_blank">World Toilet Day</a> (Nov. 19th) to raise awareness that even in these modern times 4.2 billion people do not have access to clean drinking water and safe sanitation. Think about that! <p></p><p>Anytime I'm being bratty or grumpy I remind myself how lucky I am. My friends sometimes get annoyed because I'll often say there is nothing to be upset about if we have running water and a toilet. Mostly I'm joking, but not really. </p><p>When Mr. Klemm said millions would trade places with us, it's actually probably BILLIONS! π©</p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;">π </span>Ok, by now you might be thinking: <i>alright Joy enough with the goodie-goodie aren't we lucky to be living in today's times and have basic creature comforts. I've got some stuff to be really unhappy about!</i></p><p>Well to that I would say: <i>Yay you!!</i> Because if you've got <i>real</i> problems then you've got a <i>real</i> life and are alive to figure those things out. </p><p>See because the other big life lesson I learned is <b><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Memento_mori" target="_blank">Memento Mori</a>: </b><b><i>Remember that you die!</i></b></p><p>This Latin phrase has been used by religions and philosophers over the ages to remind us that life is impermanent and we need to therefore cherish the time we have alive. So if you are having a hard time or suffering in any way I know it's difficult but try and remember that we are all lucky to be alive even through the sucky times in life. The alternative is to not be unhappy at all, ever π¬</p><p>Again, I don't have it all figured out but when I contemplated what to share with Sheryl this is what came to mind. Several specifics on other life topics popped up as well, so for the next few months I'm going to write a bit about other ways I try and be happy. If you have any topics you'd like me to opine on please send me a comment/note and I'll see if I can include them.</p><p>I have hope that 2022 is going to be wonderful and I have perspective, gratitude and death to point me in this direction. Come follow along with Sheryl and me as we explore it even further. Cheers to teenage angst, toilets, time here together and finding the JOY and the Happy π€</p></div>Joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16547778178373113962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5706046824712094963.post-60459221839121286442022-01-01T15:57:00.127-06:002022-05-28T20:31:40.326-05:00THEME 2022<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg_ZkmfLNX882op6re71wJB-dtXmlP4AESd3qK4e4Is730mmX-wAlRffo0akPOIu8potDPlyLAQ38JqY5hIOJdk0oJsjyark0eme-wHs_hbZsrkfs_zicd2d0zLL7RNRAX4avF1Yqx1xf3ek3q32l-fzyQkjQwWg0S9jxndbbHd1veJTy_tJVXuOG9dDA=s1186" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1186" data-original-width="928" height="380" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg_ZkmfLNX882op6re71wJB-dtXmlP4AESd3qK4e4Is730mmX-wAlRffo0akPOIu8potDPlyLAQ38JqY5hIOJdk0oJsjyark0eme-wHs_hbZsrkfs_zicd2d0zLL7RNRAX4avF1Yqx1xf3ek3q32l-fzyQkjQwWg0S9jxndbbHd1veJTy_tJVXuOG9dDA=w297-h380" width="297" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><b><span style="font-size: large;">2021</span></b> was like learning to drive a stick-shift car: sputters and starts, lurch forward and stops, grinding gears, dies in the middle of road... then some smooth parts, even a nice ride once you get going. But hey watch out because if you weren't paying attention it could get you <a href="https://www.webmd.com/lung/news/20211122/us-covid-deaths-2021-surpass-2020-total" target="_blank">killed</a> or at least stranded somewhere you didn't want to be π§ π π¨<div><br /><div>Let's face it as bad as 2020 was, 2021 was actually even more of a cluster! <p></p><p>When I was doing my year end summary and <a href="http://www.CreatingYourYear.com" target="_blank">Creating 2022</a>, all I could think about is how weird the last two years have been. I mean as you'll recall I had high hopes for the new decade and thought <a href="https://joymeredith.blogspot.com/2020/01/theme-2020.html" target="_blank">2020</a> was going to be <i>amazing</i>. It was alright, in that I was <i>amazed</i> at how crazy things got in our world. </p><p>Then 2021 comes and I'm sure it'll be so much better, how can it not?!</p><p>Well let's see, an insurrection, an impeachment, our top olympic athlete has the spins, abortion is once again (read: still) <a href="https://thepopethatsavedtheplanet.com/" target="_blank">dividing the nation</a>, tornadoes, fires, vaccine deniers, anti-maskers... and did I mention while the world was spinning I was in search of a new home, job and love?</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjodqJdJFiUQ4pG4qShA6Jui6UT1EPCoHf5ehP__odwJSLEi_VqWFytMVEg9FFvQPDTeAXMxuCwFe46oinVDXHuwNgeDNmBY2iXZ2GW9YjQq_tuXEHs9CSD3g4iYfbEooqbz_qfL1zI_C8srdxPchr0yvba4l-hfpJ0j8xDjO3TfjQO3ivQhSNt1F-ucw=s932" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="858" data-original-width="932" height="136" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjodqJdJFiUQ4pG4qShA6Jui6UT1EPCoHf5ehP__odwJSLEi_VqWFytMVEg9FFvQPDTeAXMxuCwFe46oinVDXHuwNgeDNmBY2iXZ2GW9YjQq_tuXEHs9CSD3g4iYfbEooqbz_qfL1zI_C8srdxPchr0yvba4l-hfpJ0j8xDjO3TfjQO3ivQhSNt1F-ucw=w148-h136" width="148" /></a></div>I was originally going to use the rollercoaster metaphor but I hate <i>every single </i>moment of ever being on one so it does not apply. Because thank goodness 2021 wasn't all bad. The inauguration was uplifting (how awesome was <a href="https://www.theamandagorman.com/" target="_blank">Amanda Gorman</a>?), we're back in the <a href="https://unfccc.int/process-and-meetings/the-paris-agreement/the-paris-agreement" target="_blank">Paris Agreement</a>, vaccines are here, <a href="https://www.instagram.com/simonebiles/?hl=en" target="_blank">Simone Biles</a> left us even more inspired and we can at least have a semi-nornal life again. Sure some of it was super surreal, like how I found myself cheering on Liz Cheney who of all people is fighting <a href="https://twitter.com/ThisWeekABC/status/1477680401762160650" target="_blank">to save democracy</a>. </div><div>But I digress...</div><div><div><br /></div><div>Point being this decade has not begun like I was hoping, so what's an optimist to do? </div><div><i>Get happy!</i></div><div><br /></div><div><span style="font-size: large;"><b>2022</b> </span>is going to be the year of <b><span style="color: #e06666;"><span style="font-size: large;">Happy Happy! </span></span></b></div><div><br /></div><div>For no other reason than that is why we are here- to find joy in our lives. Even when things were horrible (and they were) there was happy sprinkled in-between: I became a great-aunt when a fav nephew had his daughter this summer; I moved into a beautiful home with lovely neighbors; I landed a job that's a fit; and while I did enjoy some of the research π alas I haven't found my person yet-- but my dear friend Katie got engaged to <i>hers</i>. </div><div><br /></div><div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh63UhhlbQ6uAN-SnFBWxjcCexKpUK4Jsgd3oIzYShYHvH1CSrg9gCcB2yqN36xP23MQ52ND4DUWZTxf_yp13gVv4alaW0z0zPT8D5_Qxf8XbwBAjbiyr50Ez-VX_wBRzBUKU9FrR8Yz4evV4CW6KxR-fFG7H2l435R0ggRNTuM4gkPzB4wyZLl719LJQ=s1914" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1367" data-original-width="1914" height="229" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh63UhhlbQ6uAN-SnFBWxjcCexKpUK4Jsgd3oIzYShYHvH1CSrg9gCcB2yqN36xP23MQ52ND4DUWZTxf_yp13gVv4alaW0z0zPT8D5_Qxf8XbwBAjbiyr50Ez-VX_wBRzBUKU9FrR8Yz4evV4CW6KxR-fFG7H2l435R0ggRNTuM4gkPzB4wyZLl719LJQ=s320" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">π Katie and Matt </td></tr></tbody></table><br /></div><div>Happy is possible even in chaos, it just takes us making the decision to find it. Yes eyes open and feet in reality but come on there is beauty and humor and love and happiness everywhere! I hope you join me in looking for the happy and being happy along the journey to find yours. Because geez we lived through a <i>fucking</i> pandemic and even if there are bad times ahead (and of course there will be some) if we waste the happy happy of it all we miss<b> Finding JOY!</b></div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><p><span face="Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; font-size: 15.4px;">(</span><a href="https://joymeredith.blogspot.com/search/label/Theme" style="background-color: white; color: #999999; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15.4px; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Past Themes</a><span face="Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; font-size: 15.4px;">)</span></p></div></div></div>Joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16547778178373113962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5706046824712094963.post-91177580508636420432021-12-31T18:48:00.037-06:002022-01-01T19:00:06.887-06:00Creating YOUR Year ... π ποΈ<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="485" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="//www.slideshare.net/slideshow/embed_code/key/3jIkrf7rK2B3ZJ" style="border-width: 1px; border: 1px solid #CCC; margin-bottom: 5px; max-width: 100%;" width="595"> </iframe> <div style="margin-bottom: 5px;"> <strong> <a href="//www.slideshare.net/JoyMeredith/me-mapping-creating-your-year-2022" target="_blank" title="Me Mapping Creating Your Year 2022">Me Mapping Creating Your Year 2022</a> </strong> from <strong><a href="//www.slideshare.net/JoyMeredith" target="_blank">Joy Meredith</a></strong> </div><div style="margin-bottom: 5px;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEj8GV00CwyWDvpu_X7yIn21skCxg15mku0VuFQO5FgiDidDZEKddZ3nDV1Ha8o2BpWK8xE4A0GuL15OF2EkUusAOloDfHElo3a3lfJcD862rCCU_NESyMvus6Tde1atveJnaq0dKYSE_CSC-yuEqtUj8EBbI54gJ4mDn7C9m7XGHZGKrkNDIlIVyfw7oQ=s1692" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1216" data-original-width="1692" height="230" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEj8GV00CwyWDvpu_X7yIn21skCxg15mku0VuFQO5FgiDidDZEKddZ3nDV1Ha8o2BpWK8xE4A0GuL15OF2EkUusAOloDfHElo3a3lfJcD862rCCU_NESyMvus6Tde1atveJnaq0dKYSE_CSC-yuEqtUj8EBbI54gJ4mDn7C9m7XGHZGKrkNDIlIVyfw7oQ=s320" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div style="margin-bottom: 5px;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 5px;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>2021</b></span> <span style="font-size: x-large;">π³ ... <i>amiright<span style="color: red;">?!!</span></i></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 5px;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 5px;">I have much much higher hopes for 2022, but as always I need to map it out to really see and live into it. So join me π</div><div style="margin-bottom: 5px;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 5px;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 5px;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 5px;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">Happy Mapping and <i>Cheers</i> to a </span><b style="color: #cc0000; font-size: xx-large;">Happy Happy</b><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: xx-large;"> 22</span><b style="color: #cc0000; font-size: xx-large;">! </b></div>Joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16547778178373113962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5706046824712094963.post-79897784995682466132021-10-03T18:31:00.000-05:002021-10-03T18:31:34.449-05:00Transplanted: Watch Out For Your Raw Roots<p> <a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-8CvKEoVFpGA/YPcoXlATwmI/AAAAAAAADnA/wxIXVma-W-MomXUTBMHAPSbBUP0vbLQ5gCLcBGAsYHQ/s1585/Screen%2BShot%2B2021-07-20%2Bat%2B2.49.38%2BPM.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1141" data-original-width="1585" height="411" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-8CvKEoVFpGA/YPcoXlATwmI/AAAAAAAADnA/wxIXVma-W-MomXUTBMHAPSbBUP0vbLQ5gCLcBGAsYHQ/w571-h411/Screen%2BShot%2B2021-07-20%2Bat%2B2.49.38%2BPM.png" width="571" /></a><br /><span style="font-family: verdana;">Three months have passed and I can now look back with relief but I had a very bad time moving over the 4th of July weekend. I won't bore you with all the details but let's just say it was messy and stressful and cost twice as much and took three days longer than anticipated. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">And when I woke up on July 5th I had a bit of a panic attack wondering how I ended up in a 100-year old farm house living next door to chickens and down the road from horses. π³</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Don't get me wrong, my new place is beautiful and homey and filled with light and charm and I have flower baskets hanging from my front porch and a flag waving in the wind. I now live in a little slice of Americana so idyllic it'll give you a toothache.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">So when I was freaking out to my best pal Vickie about how uncharacteristically out of sorts I was she calmly explained to me I was like the plants sitting in my picture window nook. Plants don't like to be moved because they get use to the conditions they are grown in. And they especially don't like to be transplanted. Their roots are raw and they don't always take to their new pot, soil or conditions.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">She said, your roots are just tender from all the upheaval and you need to get use to your new environment and you'll be good. I've moved more than a handful of times but I have never had a moving transition as unsettling before so I was upset that I was even upset. But then she used some of my own words back at me (which you know is extra-annoying π) and said: <i>so you're not enjoying big unexpected changes during a global pandemic... it clearly must be you!</i></span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Ha, ok yes, I guess when you say it like that. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">This is just a little refresher to remind you (and later me, when I re-read) that we are in beyond weird times and since it's been over a year we seem to think any change is no big deal and should be almost normal by now. But trust me, I feel ya.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">So if you too are feeling out of sorts and like your mind, body and soul are raw from whatever you're being uprooted from (relationship, job, home, whatever) it's ok. Just try your best to relax, unpack what you can at your own pace and focus on the good things: for me, it's my awesome tub-- but for you it might be more time to yourself after a breakup; getting away from a narcissistic boss after a job loss; or deep appreciation for your health after this scary time.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Because, heck, we're not even yet <i>out</i> of the pandemic, or a year away from a jarring insurrection, or back to a steady normal. So hang in there. <i>Find joy</i> where you can. And when you need any help along the way reach out to a good friend to remind you it'll all be ok when you get rooted in your new reality. If we're lucky - and if you're reading this, you are- w</span><span style="font-family: verdana;">e might even grow a little out of all this π©</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Be well π€ππ»</span></p>Joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16547778178373113962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5706046824712094963.post-73174246779345016512021-03-31T19:13:00.006-05:002021-04-05T15:59:57.994-05:00Emotional Euphoria: Side-effects May Vary<p> <a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-VKrveNOkqk0/YGO23Bq_RpI/AAAAAAAADj0/cY9wMAAZT0YlkPoZKc_0J-_7pNE1Y0cdACLcBGAsYHQ/s886/Screen%2BShot%2B2021-03-30%2Bat%2B6.39.43%2BPM.png" style="clear: left; display: inline; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="404" data-original-width="886" height="268" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-VKrveNOkqk0/YGO23Bq_RpI/AAAAAAAADj0/cY9wMAAZT0YlkPoZKc_0J-_7pNE1Y0cdACLcBGAsYHQ/w587-h268/Screen%2BShot%2B2021-03-30%2Bat%2B6.39.43%2BPM.png" width="587" /></a></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><i>I'm high! </i>π©Ή</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">I hadn't realized how much of a release it would be to get a vaccine. My emotions are all over the place and I'm writing this to warn you: you too might want to be prepared.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">First, when my folks were vaccinated I could feel myself finally exhale: <i>phew!</i> I have so many friends who have lost both of their parents and so to have lost <a href="https://joymeredith.blogspot.com/2015/01/nothing-left-unsaid.html" target="_blank">my Mom</a> years ago but still have my Dad and my Bobbie around is such a gift. They've been in Florida this whole time and to have missed so many occasions and not know for sure when it would be safe to be all together was really tough.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Then there have been the other sadnesses that we've just beared. Friends have lost loved ones and I couldn't be with them to mourn <i>in person</i>. Killed me!</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Missed a favorite nephew's wedding, lost a job, haven't had a professional haircut, yada, yada- <i>you know!</i> The amazing thing about my missings is that we've <i>ALL</i> had them. No one sailed through this without feeling slightly battered and bruised. At least we all </span><span style="font-family: verdana;">collectively </span><span style="font-family: verdana;">know how </span><span style="font-family: verdana;">beyond bizarre </span><span style="font-family: verdana;">things have been. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">When I received the shot I got in my car to head back home but instead went for a long drive with the windows cracked belting out my new favorite tune </span><span face="-apple-system, ".AppleColorEmojiUI"" style="caret-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); color: white; font-size: 13px; text-size-adjust: auto;">π π¨ πΆ</span><span style="font-family: verdana;">πΆπΆ</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">This song </span><span style="font-family: verdana;">from </span><i style="font-family: verdana;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uTRCxOE7Xzc&ab_channel=MovieclipsTrailers" target="_blank">Begin Again</a></i><span style="font-family: verdana;"> </span><span style="font-family: verdana;">has been reverberating in my head for days. And I sang it over and over at the top of lungs and am only now getting the irony.</span></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="336" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/GyiQtznyCGU" width="489" youtube-src-id="GyiQtznyCGU"></iframe></div><b style="font-family: verdana;"><div><b style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></b></div><a href="https://youtu.be/GyiQtznyCGU" target="_blank">Tell Me If You Wanna Go Home</a></b><span style="font-family: verdana;"> from</span><span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: verdana; font-size: x-large; font-weight: bold;"> BEGIN AGAIN</span><span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: verdana; font-weight: bold;">...</span><span style="font-family: verdana;"> </span><i style="font-family: verdana;">get it?!!</i><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-keYV4FLtJwA/YGP1oC6o4SI/AAAAAAAADj8/D0jWXI9O5Sw650O3uyHWTDcDh8ox1tPqQCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/Screen%2BShot%2B2021-03-26%2Bat%2B12.16.37%2BAM.png" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="2048" height="167" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-keYV4FLtJwA/YGP1oC6o4SI/AAAAAAAADj8/D0jWXI9O5Sw650O3uyHWTDcDh8ox1tPqQCLcBGAsYHQ/w267-h167/Screen%2BShot%2B2021-03-26%2Bat%2B12.16.37%2BAM.png" width="267" /></a></div><span style="font-family: verdana;">I had re-watched it recently after telling a new π crush about the music and a particular scene I loved. Mark and Keira's characters walk around the city with a splitter and their own headphones plugged in sharing their playlists πΆπ§π±π§πΆ which is a super adorable way to see and hear what lights someone up. <br /></span><p></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">And that's what we're all about to do again. See everything with new eyes. Get back the freedom to be with others and to be out in the world and <i>begin</i> our lives <i>again</i>.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Not going to lie I had a little upset tummy, which could have been from the shot or just the excitement of now being within sight of seeing my friends again in real life instead of a Zoom screen. To play games with my family. </span><span style="font-family: verdana;">To hug EVERYONE!</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Here's what I embraced most during the pause... life is delicate. I mean I keep re-learning this same lesson over and over. Life is short. Things can change in an instant. A couple swipes on your phone can connect you to new possibilities. A vote can restore sanity to a nation. A text checking in on an old friend can make someone feel loved. Delicate. Delicious life!</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">At some point we will probably need to put </span><span style="font-family: verdana;">back on</span><span style="font-family: verdana;"> hard pants, go back into an office, and figure out the path forward. But if you are anything like me, you'll have a moment of gratitude at how lucky we were. How amazing science is. How there is no time to waste in life, even in just enjoying the pause when it's put upon us.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">One of my besties has been too busy with a family crisis to do anything but check getting the vaccine off her long to-do-list so she was amused by my happy-high. Some will be: <i>all shot, no chaser</i>. But I reminded her that feeling the buzz of life being lived and taking a moment to breathe is what it's about. Feel it all. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">So, I hope you and those you love are well. I hope you get a shot at/for health. </span><span style="font-family: verdana;">I hope you were scared and sad </span><i style="font-family: verdana;">just enoug</i><span style="font-family: verdana;">h in this last year to treasure this return to "</span><i style="font-family: verdana;">normal</i><span style="font-family: verdana;">". And I hope when it's time for you to </span><i style="font-family: verdana;"><b><span style="color: #0b5394;">begin again</span></b></i><span style="font-family: verdana;"> you hug, sing and dance yourself around wherever you go. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana; font-size: xx-large;">π€ π€ π π€ ππ» π€ </span></p><p><br /></p><p>[ <a href="https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLRPZvENVKVTECFuFzqNPeFVk08VA5Fpxx" style="font-family: verdana;" target="_blank">My current playlist if you want to Begin 2021 with me</a><span style="color: #666666; font-family: verdana;"> π§πΆ]</span></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_Oe1eLAwsQA/YGt5t7Hj88I/AAAAAAAADkU/Mnno9rifOPwxXqaXb42S6UGHE_8ohhN3ACLcBGAsYHQ/s1702/Screen%2BShot%2B2021-04-05%2Bat%2B3.56.23%2BPM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="572" data-original-width="1702" height="167" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_Oe1eLAwsQA/YGt5t7Hj88I/AAAAAAAADkU/Mnno9rifOPwxXqaXb42S6UGHE_8ohhN3ACLcBGAsYHQ/w491-h167/Screen%2BShot%2B2021-04-05%2Bat%2B3.56.23%2BPM.png" width="491" /></a></div><br /><span style="color: #666666; font-family: verdana;"><br /></span><p></p><p><span style="color: #666666; font-family: verdana; font-size: small;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="color: #666666; font-family: verdana; font-size: small;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="color: #666666; font-family: verdana; font-size: small;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="color: #666666; font-family: verdana; font-size: small;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="color: #666666; font-family: verdana; font-size: small;">Special hug to π€ Chip</span></p>Joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16547778178373113962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5706046824712094963.post-11657615120445085992021-02-12T10:00:00.028-06:002021-02-15T15:57:17.955-06:00You're Not Alone<p></p><p><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pqdsLQIeDcI/YCXuv0KWgMI/AAAAAAAADeU/T3BYSsCNoV0OrP7ddKde6UQ3SUkNze20ACLcBGAsYHQ/s1500/TimFerrissShoot-tinyfied.jpg" style="clear: left; display: inline; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1000" data-original-width="1500" height="412" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pqdsLQIeDcI/YCXuv0KWgMI/AAAAAAAADeU/T3BYSsCNoV0OrP7ddKde6UQ3SUkNze20ACLcBGAsYHQ/w619-h412/TimFerrissShoot-tinyfied.jpg" width="619" /></a></p><span style="font-family: verdana;">During this time I've had less interest in listening to podcasts as I did when I was traveling/commuting into the city so I just got to the episode below that I knew I would need to be in a calm place to listen to. <a href="https://tim.blog/" target="_blank">Tim Ferriss</a>' <a href="https://tim.blog/podcast/" target="_blank">podcast </a>has many great guests and I always learn something from each of them, but this one was about Tim himself. </span><p></p><p></p><span style="font-family: verdana;">If you don't know Tim, he is: an author, investor, business personality, probably most famous originally for the book <i>The 4-Hour Workweek</i>. I've followed him for years and find him to be a good guy ... more of a tech/money/body hack stuff kind than an outwardly touchy-feely emotional sort. </span><p></p><p></p><div><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-a2Yrt429BJg/YCXv80-cARI/AAAAAAAADek/4fYaFxFoQ1YIw6cqcoCACLbr2AHnion8wCLcBGAsYHQ/s914/Screen%2BShot%2B2021-02-11%2Bat%2B8.59.07%2BPM.png" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><img border="0" data-original-height="688" data-original-width="914" height="173" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-a2Yrt429BJg/YCXv80-cARI/AAAAAAAADek/4fYaFxFoQ1YIw6cqcoCACLbr2AHnion8wCLcBGAsYHQ/w229-h173/Screen%2BShot%2B2021-02-11%2Bat%2B8.59.07%2BPM.png" width="229" /></span></a><span style="font-family: verdana;">Because he's been successful at a lot of different things, I was surprised a couple of years ago when <a href="https://tim.blog/2015/05/06/how-to-commit-suicide/" target="_blank">he wrote a post</a> about how he was suicidal at one point. I assumed it was a high strung, type-A perfectionist personality thing. But like most things in life, there was a deeper story.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br />In this episode, he reveals that he had been horribly abused by the son of a babysitter from the ages 2-4. He doesn't go into much detail of the events but you get the idea of the brutality of it.</span><p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-eUCA1qQsK_A/YCXv8-LKKMI/AAAAAAAADeg/SYAT7ktz8YwhssNlrK1c62AJLX6a1SvVACLcBGAsYHQ/s614/Screen%2BShot%2B2021-02-11%2Bat%2B9.02.25%2BPM.png" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><img border="0" data-original-height="614" data-original-width="408" height="342" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-eUCA1qQsK_A/YCXv8-LKKMI/AAAAAAAADeg/SYAT7ktz8YwhssNlrK1c62AJLX6a1SvVACLcBGAsYHQ/w227-h342/Screen%2BShot%2B2021-02-11%2Bat%2B9.02.25%2BPM.png" width="227" /></span></a></div><span style="font-family: verdana;">He is joined in the episode by <a href="https://www.debbiemillman.com/" target="_blank">Debbie Millman</a> who is a well known business/design/podcasting superstar. He asked her to lead the conversation because they are friends in the real world and she had helped him deal with this issue, as she too was abused as a child. </span><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">The interchange between these two is touching and sweet and so loving. But the truth that made me tear up while listening is not that they had both been abused (which of course is horrific) but that these two lovely, talented, beautiful beings both felt alone because of what had happened to them. TO THEM!</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Debbie asks at the end of the episode if there is any final thoughts Tim would like the listeners to know and he says that he wants people to know: </span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><b><i></i></b></span></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: verdana;"><b><i>You're not alone. It's never hopeless. There are tools. </i></b></span></blockquote><blockquote><span style="font-family: verdana;"><b><i>You're never alone.</i></b></span></blockquote><p></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">I've had several friends/loved ones who have been abused, had mental health challenges, substance abuse struggles, etc. It's hard unless you're a trained professional to know how to help someone in deep despair and some folks are just not able or willing to witness someone else's pain. But that's not a reflection on the one looking for comfort. <b>There is always someone who cares.</b> It's just a journey to find people who make you feel safe, heard and able to help begin the healing process. Debbie who has been navigating her journey for decades describes how hard it's been but how worth it is as well.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">So if you ever feeling alone in the world, I wanted to leave this little sign here to let you know <i>you're not</i>. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Be gentle with yourself, get help from professionals when needed and know even in these crazy times there is hope and.. <i>You're Not Alone</i>. </span>π</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="242" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/w9rvOfdk10c" width="455" youtube-src-id="w9rvOfdk10c"></iframe></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666;">Trauma Resources from this episode can be found <a href="https://tim.blog/2020/09/14/how-to-heal-trauma/#trauma-resources" target="_blank"><b>HERE</b></a>.</span></div>Joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16547778178373113962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5706046824712094963.post-82364188833467244222021-01-16T20:00:00.006-06:002021-03-06T01:59:29.293-06:00When I'm Right, I'm Right! Except... For When I'm Wrong.<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-eGs45-80PCI/X11HG9VQ-cI/AAAAAAAADXo/LgzlJmtpLZouj7mNju5-vDJxyYaEf8w8wCLcBGAsYHQ/s1387/Screen%2BShot%2B2020-09-12%2Bat%2B5.07.52%2BPM.png" style="clear: left; display: inline; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="762" data-original-width="1387" height="344" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-eGs45-80PCI/X11HG9VQ-cI/AAAAAAAADXo/LgzlJmtpLZouj7mNju5-vDJxyYaEf8w8wCLcBGAsYHQ/w625-h344/Screen%2BShot%2B2020-09-12%2Bat%2B5.07.52%2BPM.png" width="625" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr></tbody></table><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">One of my favorite things ever is being right about something. I mean I LOVE being right! I have lots of opinions and let's just say when I take a stand I'm right <i>much</i> of the time. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Now part of the reason for this is because I like reading about an array of various topics and I've studied a good deal of self-help and had loads of therapy so I've honed my senses and understanding of human behavior. And because I also don't like to be wrong, </span><span style="font-family: verdana;">I usually only spout off about things I feel like I know; otherwise I tend to be inquisitive of why someone is saying something or I look it up. That's the only way to play fair. If you like it when you're right (</span><i style="font-family: verdana;">and don't deny it you like it too!</i><span style="font-family: verdana;"> π) you have to admit when other people are right and you are wrrrrong. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">So as I've been <a href="https://joymeredith.blogspot.com/2020/05/pace-yourself.html" target="_blank">pacing myself</a> and spending a good deal of <a href="https://joymeredith.blogspot.com/2021/01/theme-2021.html" target="_blank">sparkle time</a> in the beginning of the year, I was hoping I was right again that Trump would finish his grift for money </span><span style="font-family: verdana;">(</span><a href="https://www.politifact.com/article/2021/jan/08/what-we-know-about-trumps-fundraising-false-claim-/" style="font-family: verdana;" target="_blank">$500M</a><span style="font-family: verdana;">+) </span><span style="font-family: verdana;">objecting to the election results and then reluctantly concede, take a bow on getting the vaccine out and would start his next bid for attention on some cable station. </span><span style="font-family: verdana;">But I was WRONG!</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Last week's insurrection was a disgusting display of mob behavior but even more upsetting was that every American, including our legislators and his advisors, didn't immediately get Trump to leave office. Nixon's acts were dishonorable but to foment violence <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/trump-attacks-pence-for-not-having-courage-to-overturn-election-2021-1" target="_blank">against his own VP</a> and elected officials and our very elections as they were being certified is next level bullshit</span><span style="font-family: verdana;">!</span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-hCH92zXRRfg/YAODrX54piI/AAAAAAAADdA/LJHubGzksMsmVy0abIrDNb0EbcrNzi4RgCLcBGAsYHQ/s732/Screen%2BShot%2B2021-01-16%2Bat%2B6.23.44%2BPM.png" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="414" data-original-width="732" height="144" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-hCH92zXRRfg/YAODrX54piI/AAAAAAAADdA/LJHubGzksMsmVy0abIrDNb0EbcrNzi4RgCLcBGAsYHQ/w252-h144/Screen%2BShot%2B2021-01-16%2Bat%2B6.23.44%2BPM.png" width="252" /></a></span></div><span style="font-family: verdana;"><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; font-family: verdana; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-U3Qs5bH5sxA/YAOFBJiiLKI/AAAAAAAADdM/0XXC9IrpwOkzPIF7FiqKi4IvFfm8E3LiACLcBGAsYHQ/s1200/ErFDsZeVkAItdYS.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="675" data-original-width="1200" height="139" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-U3Qs5bH5sxA/YAOFBJiiLKI/AAAAAAAADdM/0XXC9IrpwOkzPIF7FiqKi4IvFfm8E3LiACLcBGAsYHQ/w247-h139/ErFDsZeVkAItdYS.jpg" width="247" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span face="-apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #0f1419; text-align: start; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">(Photo By Tom Williams/CQ Roll Call via AP Images)</span></span></td></tr></tbody></table><br /></span><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: verdana;">Of course not every person who voted for Trump is a nut or should be lumped in with those terrorist that stormed the Capitol, not even all the MAGAs that attended the earlier rally. But anyone who is not currently speaking up against Trump's </span><i style="font-family: verdana;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_lie" target="_blank">big lie</a></i><span style="font-family: verdana;"> is now responsible for anything else that comes in the days ahead. </span><p><span style="font-family: verdana;">Listen, I know it is heartbreaking to have a person you looked up to come out from behind the curtain and not be who he sold the public he was. Myself, I was wrong about Charlie Rose- who I admired and watched for decades. I talked about him all the time and would have vowed he was a decent man. Another one that hurt was that I was wrong regarding <a href="https://joymeredith.blogspot.com/search/label/Louis%20C.K." target="_blank">my adoration</a> for Louis CK... sure this one was a bit more obvious- my bad! </span><span style="font-family: verdana;">But nonetheless when it was clear I was wrong I said it. Not just to my friends but </span><a href="https://joymeredith.blogspot.com/2017/10/for-love-of-louie.html" style="font-family: verdana;" target="_blank">here</a><span style="font-family: verdana;"> where I touted my love in the first place. </span><span style="font-family: verdana;">I tried to clean up my mess, mitigate my wrongness. </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">The only way to halt this nationwide divide and destruction and protect our country in the next few days, weeks and years is to speak the truth and undo whatever damage we've done.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">If you quietly, privately voted Trump I guess just do better next time researching your choice (his lies and damage were clearly visible) but for the rest--- anyone who publicly spouted off about Trump needs to with same volume, vigor and verve speak out on how: he is lying about the election being stolen; that he was wrong to rile up a crowd then send them after Congress/VP; and that he was derelict in duty to not get National Guard in to help them immediately. Then state he is now unfit for office. </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">The ratio of regret needs to be equal to the denial and harm caused by those who stood by party over country; was OK with tax-cuts and judges while ignoring kids in cages and the lies and dishonor he brought to the office; and thought owning your annoying lib relatives and ex-friends was worth siding with racists, a pussy-grabber and the incompetents Trump surrounded himself with who would not speak truth to nor for him. </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">When The Daily Show can summarize the buildup of this looming destruction in a few minutes it's hard to say no-one saw this coming π </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="353" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/nz-zWeqtVo8" width="497" youtube-src-id="nz-zWeqtVo8"></iframe></div><br /><span style="font-family: verdana;">Our fellow-citizens, the world and for goodness sake our children are watching this. Own what we've contributed to this mess and let's get America back to where we are arguing about the proper corporate tax rate and school funding not about tearing down our democracy. We are better than this! </span><div><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">I am <b><i>right</i></b> about the <span style="color: red;"><b>United</b></span> <span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>States</b></span> <span style="color: #0b5394;"><b>of America</b></span> </span><span face="system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; white-space: pre-wrap;">πΊπΈ</span><span style="font-family: verdana;"> </span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: verdana;">... for our Founder's, let alone <i>our </i>sake, don't prove me wrong π€¨</span></div></div>Joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16547778178373113962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5706046824712094963.post-6725223831660886752021-01-01T13:41:00.004-06:002021-02-15T00:15:07.314-06:00THEME 2021<p><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-DsUhzsuzjMA/X-9nTcp0KyI/AAAAAAAADck/0nIohpFEOfoIzw1s-6rKpZjOcE5DFYlhgCLcBGAsYHQ/s1272/Screen%2BShot%2B2020-12-31%2Bat%2B12.28.32%2BAM.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><img border="0" data-original-height="1272" data-original-width="974" height="438" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-DsUhzsuzjMA/X-9nTcp0KyI/AAAAAAAADck/0nIohpFEOfoIzw1s-6rKpZjOcE5DFYlhgCLcBGAsYHQ/w335-h438/Screen%2BShot%2B2020-12-31%2Bat%2B12.28.32%2BAM.png" width="335" /></a></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">Both my sister and I have no biological children but our lives are filled with kids we adore which is how I came upon this year's theme. Years ago I was visiting her when she had some of her nieces/nephews over and when one started to throw a fit she in a very displeased manner (ala Tom Hanks': <i><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6M8szlSa-8o&ab_channel=Movieclips" target="_blank">there's no crying in baseball</a></i>) said: <i>there is no whining at Auntie Julie's house</i>. </span><span style="font-family: verdana;">And this kid looked at her and stopped his tantrum immediately. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">Since I can't pull off her tone with the same matter-of-factness she can I had to come up with my own re-direct. And since I also believe it is healthy to let everyone express themselves no matter their feelings I like to say: </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><i><span style="font-family: verdana;">You can be sad or in a bad mood but you can't fling it at others. So sweetie, why don't you go take a minute and get a few fresh breaths outside or read in your room or pet the dog and take some time to <b><span style="color: #e06666;">sparkle yourself up</span></b> and then come back as your wonderful self. </span></i></div></blockquote><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-P0mpRjKZgmQ/X-9quGVrv9I/AAAAAAAADcw/qyvlYmotcNIkPb0afzAx73r-fppjdkNaACLcBGAsYHQ/s636/Screen%2BShot%2B2021-01-01%2Bat%2B12.31.59%2BPM.png" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: right;"><span style="clear: right; float: right; font-family: verdana; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="208" data-original-width="636" height="102" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-P0mpRjKZgmQ/X-9quGVrv9I/AAAAAAAADcw/qyvlYmotcNIkPb0afzAx73r-fppjdkNaACLcBGAsYHQ/w311-h102/Screen%2BShot%2B2021-01-01%2Bat%2B12.31.59%2BPM.png" width="311" /></span></a></div><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="color: #e06666;"><b>Sparkle Time</b></span> is when we take time to rejuvenate ourselves when we are not at our best. It is the <i>ME time</i> to do whatever we need to make our interactions with others more productive and loving and true to who we are. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">Let's face it none of us were at our best in 2020. Even the super heroic nurses, doctors, teachers and essential workers -not to mention parents- were exhausted and numb and not giving off sparkly vibes at all times. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">So I am taking whatever portion of 2021 it will take to get back to myself and be ready to be in the world at my best. Besides, I anticipate 2022 is going to be <i>roaring</i> and I want to be ready.</span><span style="font-family: verdana;"> </span><span style="font-family: verdana;">π</span></div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">Sleep, inspiring project work, nutrition, reading, movement to strengthen my body, mind and soul. Whatever it takes to get my spark back. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">Afterall, <i><span style="color: #cc0000;"><a href="https://joymeredith.blogspot.com/2015/04/one-life-changing-question.html" target="_blank">Sparking Joy</a></span></i> is what we want in our lives π</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Cheers to 2021 πΈ π</b> and whatever makes you <span style="color: #e06666;">*Sparkle*</span> with <span style="color: #cc0000;">JOY!</span> π</span><p></p><div><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div>(<a href="https://joymeredith.blogspot.com/search/label/Theme" target="_blank">Past Themes</a>)</div>Joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16547778178373113962noreply@blogger.com0