Recently I've had a couple friends complain they wish there was a better way to meet people then online dating. Although I'm sure there are many love connections made through o-l-d I think friends of friends are always a better way to meet quality folks. I am far from a love guru and I've been rather unlucky in love myself but alas I am pretty good at spotting possible matches. So this week I am going to try my hand as Cupid and see if I can play matchmaker with some friends. And if you're single and up for it I dare you to ask 3 friends if they'll play matchmaker for you. Odds are one will be happy to oblige.
Once you've deputized your Cupid, the following are some thoughts that will help you help them help you:
Focus: Be clear up what you are looking for- sure open is great but too broad and they have no idea what to look for. And their tastes might not be what you are really interested in dating.
Photo: Update any public profiles with a realistic but flattering photo. Any matches will Google you and want to know what they're getting into so start off on good foot. No need to get fancy just have a friend with a good eye take some.
Feel good: No one wants to date desperate-Debbie or anxious-Anthony. Spruce up your looks with new haircut or new shirt and look at this as fun adventure. Calm and confident are two of the sexiest things you can radiate so do what it takes to get there.
Good sport: Chemistry in love is an art not a science.... so if you're not feeling it be polite and if they are good person kindly pass them back in the mix and offer to introduce them to someone you know they might hit it off with.
Numbers game: Don't get discouraged if you can't find love right away it's a numbers game. My guess is we are only attracted to every 20-25 available people we meet so don't get discouraged until you've gone on at least 20 coffees.
As for Matchmakers... if you've found love in your life it is good karma to share the wealth so give it a go. Don't pressure or make yourself or your friends feel bad if they didn't feel the spark. Have fun with it and don't get too bossy if friends resist your matching- move on to another single friend.
DO IT YOURSELF: Sucky friends that are bad matchers but you still want to find love:
Sit down: Next time you go to event or take the train go sit next to (in your eyes) the cutest person in the room. Short version of longish TRUE story: I gave this advice to friend before she attended a weekend workshop and she was married within the year.
Flirt: Not at work and not with friends' spouses but flirt with everyone else- just for the practice. Don't be weird or slutty about it just friendly, witty and warm. Even if no love connection you'll probably make someone's day.
Date yourself: If you're waiting for someone to take you to places you want to go, take yourself. There's a better chance you'll meet someone with similar interests if you're going to the talks, events, places you wish someone would take you. Your love might be waiting for you to show up right now.
Ok, there you go... about all I know about dating and matchmaking*. I do know for sure though that life is short so if you are looking for love go find it and it doesn't ever hurt to ask others to help you along the way :)
Happy Valentine's Day and much...
*Safety: Even if you know someone through mutual friends make sure you are being safe. Meet out at public place and don't let them drive you home until you feel comfortable. And if you live alone always tell someone where you are and who you are going out with that night.