You'll never get away from the sound of the woman that loves youTime cast a spell on you, but you won't forget meI know I could've loved you, but you would not let me
Sunday, August 6, 2023
Sunday, March 5, 2023
Words are not violence. But boy, did Chris Rock use them to hurt last night!
Chris closed his Netflix special by finally addressing the Will Smith slap and as expected from a comic master he knew where to land a punch. It was brutal. He took on Will, Jada and ended with a swipe at Will's family situation- both his marriage and how he was raised by his parents.
It was a masterful use of language and comedic timing but all I could think was that amount of anger is a sign that while his face may have healed his emotions are as raw and bruised as they were a year ago.
Will was clearly wrong. Jada was not helpful. Chris not always an angel himself.
While fans of each are now taking sides I can't help thinking: make it STOP!!
These are good people who let things get out of hand. And yes, Will was definitely the asshole that night, but he has also apologized publicly as well. Not saying Chris should forgive someone who hit him- no one should have to forgive an abuser. But look at what these three humans use to bring out in each other: laughter and love.
It's just beyond sad that hurt lead to more hurt.
It's Will's responsibility to make this right since it was his temper that lead to the violence. Saying you're sorry is not enough for causing physical harm to another person. He is worth an estimated $350M. Maybe a big chunk of that should be his penance. Offer Chris $25M and see if that takes away not just the sting but helps demonstrate that Will values him and knows what he did was real damage to not just his person but his wellbeing and pride. And maybe then Chris could use a big chunk of his big chunk to sponsor a Boys & Girls Club.
Not to Oprah-fy everything, but this could have really been an opportunity to show how two men who have both had been bullied growing up can settle their differences and repair damage they received and then created in their lives. After all, Chris had done an amazing job talking about the harm he caused cheating on his wife. His Tamborine special was a brave and enlightened way to share what he learned about marriage. What could these three have created to make a difference in our messed up world?!
It wasn't done to me, but I am nonetheless sad that two of my favorite entertainers are putting more hate and slaps out for us to witness. Don't like it and would really really like it to stop 🥺
Monday, January 2, 2023
Being isolated on and off for the last couple years made people crave being close, yet we were all a little rusty with our social skills. So while it was great to be with people, I still found things to be kinda... surfacey.
This year I want to get DEEP with people and myself. And not like tell me about your childhood deep-- just not shallow, small talk, busy making. I was also reminded while visiting my family in Florida over the holidays that low-tide leaves things mucky and to get to calm and clear you need to go deep into the water and away from the choppy surface 🌊
So that's where I hope to spend 2023... in deep conversations, in deep thought, in deep work, in deep love! Even if it's just dating with an openness to not be stingy and closed off from the possibility of all the ways love can show up in our lives or checking in with friends and getting to the core of how they really are doing not just the pleasantries.
What about you?
Cheers to 2023 🎊🥂 and all the DEEP JOY that can be for YOU and for ME 🤗
Sunday, January 1, 2023
Saturday, December 31, 2022
Sometimes a good life is a great outcome.
Saturday, November 12, 2022
|Not the lean, but you get the idea.|
Tuesday, September 27, 2022
the key to happiness is to notice the little moments of our lifeI remember thinking she was lovely and all but that was way too hippy-dippy for me so I moved on.
Well now that I'm older I totally see what she means. We don't remember the hours in our days, we remember the brief moments that made us feel alive and stick with us. One of my first real stick-with-me-moments was the day I was graduating from high school and not for the reasons you might think. It was because I noticed how my forest green gown perfectly matched the venue we graduated at: Ravinia. It felt like we were all one, in this big group of people (friends, family, teachers) I cared about, in this beautiful place 🌲🌳🌲🌳... and that felt emotional and magical.
I have attended many concerts there since and I always make a point of pausing for a moment to feel the audience sing in unison. Yes, I like the performer/s on stage, but it's the unison that gives me chills. People harmonizing together in joy is one of the best things to ever be in the middle of.
Seeing my book on the shelf after a year and half of work to write it- a moment!
When I feel sad or stressed I try and look for little moments of joy and it changes my mood immediately. And it doesn't have to be anything big. The other day I enjoyed a perfectly ripe mango and the moment was wonderful - the color, the smell and the taste- JOY!
Last week my family and some dear friends got together at a lovely winery to surprise my step-mom Bobbie for her 80th. The wine, food and chocolates were fantastic but the moment for me was when I read a poem I had written and I looked up and and she was teary (which is very rare for her). She said as a step-parent you don't always know if you've made a difference in your kids' lives and it meant a lot to hear she had 😊
Music, plants, food, wine, loved ones, a movie, a song lyric, a sunset, a kiss ... there are many things that make me stop in awe of how beautiful life is. So yes, that therapist was right all those years ago-- moments are what make our lives happy. Therefore if we want more happy, we need to stop and breathe in a few more as we live ours.
And if this reminds you of anyone who's helped make a happy moment for you, please share that with them, it'll probably create another one just enjoying the memory of it together.
Cheers to Bobbie 🎂 and all the bonus parents that enrich our world, to the therapists that leave us with nuggets, and to the Happy Moments of our lives 🍷
Sunday, August 28, 2022
For those that don't know I at one time had a little thing for Louis CK. I know, I know but gather yourself and let's move on to the insight this brings me to...
We had been chatting about a Happy Mind and one of the keys to that is a clear conscience free of shame, guilt, regret and bad vibes. If we are haunted by things we've done, even if we have lots of happy in our life, this shadow of darkness will follow us.
There is a reason that 12-step programs include steps of inventorying and making amends to people that we've wronged and most religions have some form of atonement for bad acts we've committed.
Recently an ex texted to say they were sorry about how things didn't work out with us and they hope I will forgive them someday. And it reminded me of Louis CK's big SORRY sign 😏
Sure it's nice to hear someone is sorry but it only counts in my book if they clean up the mess they made along with the words they speak (or in LCK's case, stand in front of). The onus is not on the person that's been wronged to forgive someone if it's just blah, blah, blah to make them feel less guilty. True forgiveness is earned by correcting the behavior, owning what they did, and restitution to make things at a minimum as repaired as possible.
Where did you own what you did?
What have you done to clean up your mess?
And where is the restitution to make up for the damage you wrought?
We all mess up. We all cause pain even when we're not trying to hurt someone; but when we know we did something truly bad we can't just text/statement it away.
LCK used humor and the fact that some fans didn't care what he did to salve/ignore his guilt. Not good enough. He owes the women he harassed compensation for what he did to them. There were women who suffered career and other real damage from his actions. The 10ft tall sign was bright and flashy alright and I did actually watch his special to see what he had to say- but there was no sorry in his act or actions.
Again, the human condition is we all have a level of meanness in us, none of us is so saintly that we don't ever do anything wrong. It's hard, painful and sometimes costly to clean up our messes so we mostly don't go there. What a waste because if we cleared our conscience and did the hard part we would have a happy healthy mind, heart and future.my book, only the one about love comes before it. Because a festering ick in our life just gets ickier!
Someone once described a clear conscience as being able to walk into any room with your head held high no matter who you might run into and I think that's a pretty good visual.
The irony is if we summon the strength to own our messes there is a pop of relief, peace and closure that is worth the effort and humility on the other side.
So if you're regretting something you've done or your conscience is not clear, don't let your pride, stubbornness or fear stop you from getting things handled. Map out what is there for you and don't get overwhelmed, but just do a little step at a time to clean up your karma.
Otherwise, you'll be the one sorry you didn't 😌