Wednesday, October 11, 2017

For the Love of Louie ... 💔

Nazis, threats of nuclear war, hurricanes, flag/kneeling kerfuffles, mass shootings... it has been a brutal summer. And as I was going through my own personal drama of a break up (a story for another day or another book 🤔 ) this week made me confront my other sad sad break up.... with Louis C.K.

Harvey Weinstein has been a trigger for women who have been sexually harassed and as a society the thing that is so cringy is that we know it's true and we know it's a daily occurrence and we know we are part of the problem for tolerating it.

For me, the times I've ever had to face any harassment I've done a good job sticking up for myself and I'm fortunate it's just been an annoyance not a trauma. But what I do need to clean up is I have ignored that my crush Louis CK is a pervert and an assaulter. There I've said it.

My love for LCK was unlikely in the first place- he's not my type, way too vulgar for my taste, and usually depressives make my run the other way. But he was so funny and talented I fooled myself into thinking his charming vulnerability in interviews was who he is. I mean Jon Stewart, and Jerry Seinfeld, and Chris Rock said what a great guy he was... I believed them.

I was a big fan who wrote about him and even a story for him and shared his work with all my friends. I was a Louie-Lover and overlooked murmurs because he had great friends, supported my political views, and loved his daughters.

His time in the hot seat is coming and it's agita-inducing to anticipate the unfolding. I feel for him because no person is all good or all evil and I think he's a guy who did shitty things and if you listen to his bit about being a prisoner of sexual perversion he clearly knows his demons are winning.

There are likely a few days or weeks or even months before his story breaks big so there is still a small window for him to realize he created this. If you're an asshole or an abuser it's your job to clean up your mess. If you force others to out you and only act contrite when you're finally caught it is not only an act of cowardice but shows you aren't truly sorry for the behavior just that you got caught and are forced to own up.

Coming forward will probably not happen but I wanted to put it out in the universe just incase there's a chance because the women shouldn't have to do the work for him. This is his mess. This is his shame. This is his friends' opportunity to support him in doing what's right.

Heart brokenly hoping for a morsel of a decent guy to claim his mistakes and make the world less nasty. And wishing strength to the women who had to drag around the ickiness simply because they were trying to make the world laugh and ran into a broken guy.

Sunday, October 1, 2017

The ME Workshop

 ME Workshop 

November 11th 
Time:          10am-12:30pm        

Where:       Illinois Institute of Technology 

                      201 E Loop Rd 
                       Wheaton, IL 60189      
Investment:      $150.00

Take Aways: You’ll leave with a hard-cover professional artist sketchpad, an easy-to-follow guide to the technique, and a tangible blueprint of what you’ll be working on to create the life you want.

Feel free to come solo, you'll meet some lovely folks... but it's always great if you can do something this fun and important with someone you care about so invite away :)

Saturday, September 16, 2017

Hurt People HURT People

Politico's Michael Kruse just wrote an article, The Loneliest President, and not to overstate it but I think he painted a picture of the man so clearly it serves as a snapshot for our world's problems as well: Hurt people end up hurting people.

It's hard to tell how damaged a person is from the outside or fathom why they would purposely harm anyone else. But look around... Nazis marching in the streets.  
One traumatized son of an overbearing father pointing nuclear weapons at another. Emasculated white breadwinners hating dreamers. Sexually abused women taking their anger out on decent men or even their own children. Parishioners committing road-rage on their way home from service. The cycle repeats itself daily and generationally over and over and over.

Healthy adults who came from a sound childhood or healed themselves along the way see pain and anger and it makes them want to help and heal others. At the very least makes them have a bit of compassion for those who are angry and broken.

Sure we all have bad days, annoying destructive habits, and I haven't met a single person who if they were threatened couldn't turn and get a little ugly. But if I see someone being really foul, and angry, and abusive I think how sorry I am for them that they have to go into the world with that burden, that affliction.

Read the article and you can't help feel sorry for Trump's self induced isolation and lack of true connection. Imagine going through life not being able to trust a friend. Making every interaction a transaction. Feeling like everyone is out to get you. Must be a little slice of hell :(

Don't get me wrong, I think he should be impeached and removed from office and not allowed to cause any more harm to others, but it also begs the question: How can we as a society deal with all these walking-wounded adults before they hurt others?

As in triage situations not everyone can or even wants to be healed. If abusers are not willing to get help we need to isolate them and make sure we are taking care of our own well being. Then as a society we all need to ask ourselves...

Who hurt you?

Who are you hurting?

How can we heal individually, as a nation, and as a world?

Thursday, September 7, 2017

WE Mapping

ME Mapping has helped me transform my own life (and others) for over a decade now. WE Mapping is the companion work for couples.

I hope you find it useful in making your life with your love even more JOYful :)

Monday, September 4, 2017

Healthy Love

Finally got to see The Big Sick last night and it did not disappoint. It's the real life lovestory of a comic and what happens when the girl he broke up with gets ill. It's very very funny and touching and leaves one to contemplate: What do you do when you've been raised one way- and even though you want to follow your heart- your family, friends, and society leads you to question yourself?

Of course the answer is: you take a journey...

You decide what's important to you. You decide how it looks, and feels, and who else gets a say in how you live your life and who you love. What is healthy love?

The Big Sick is laugh out loud funny, thought provoking, and will make you believe in love in a big way.

Did I mention it's based in Chicago and still in theaters-- so take a friend or a date now they'll love you for it ;)

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Theme 2017

I like to create a theme for each year so I can keep a simple word or phrase in mind when I get stuck or need a focal point. This year my theme is centered around releasing the struggle of surviving life and taking it up a notch to really live more fully and do it.. you guessed it... JOY fully!

A few friends have already (unprompted) sent me their themes and colors for the year. If you've never tried it give it a go- I think you'll find it to be fun and focusing. 
Cheers to 2017YOU!  ;)

Some previous: 

2015                                             2016


Friday, November 4, 2016


As if I didn't already love Louis C.K. ... he perfectly summarizes why this election is so ridiculous.

You don't need to be a Democrat, or an Independent like myself, to see that Trump is a sucker's bet.

Bottom line: Hillary might be unlikable, but maybe that's because she's had to fight for everything she's achieved and that leaves some sour tastes behind. She might be corrupt-ish, but I'd gladly take someone who's using their deviousness to get children healthcare. She might have used an illegal email system, but she used it while trying to make the world a safer place and stand up for the rights of women around the world. She might have even buried a few bodies along the way (doubtful), but The Clinton Foundation has also helped millions get AIDS drugs (not to mention other good works).

We are now living in a time where inspiration isn't enough... we need a bad-ass-get-shit-done-who-cares-if-it's-pretty NASTY Woman in the White House.

We don't need to like her. We just need to help her get in, then get out of the way and let her work her ass off for our country.