Friday, December 30, 2011

Don't SOMEDAY Your Life Away!

Was looking forward to mellow relaxing holidays to bring in the new year... that is not how things ended up going. No need to bore you with details, but the point is that we never know how our day, week, or year are going to end up. Things pop up- some that delight us, some that knock the wind out of us. And as always, they are just another reminder of how short and precious life is.

Every time something spoils that I was looking forward to enjoying, or I saved something for a special occasion then never end up using it- I remind myself to not save things for good, but instead to enjoy them in the present. The companion of this sentiment is: don't someday your life away.

We always say were going to get around to things we never do. We wait for calm waters to venture out. We wait for the perfect mate, job, financial situation, etc. to do the thing we think might make us happy. But why? What exactly are we waiting for?

Timing is many things, some might even say everything... but in there it must be noted that if we keep waiting for someday we won't ever get to it. Someday must be today, this minute, this NOW.

And what does it take to seize our someday? Less then a minute of insane courage in most cases (giving myself a full minute just incase). Yes, I went to see We Bought A Zoo and I loved this line, but it was more finding out someone important to me got some scary medical news and the debate about the Mayan calendar predicating the end of times that has me focusing on 2012 as a great time to stop somedaying my life away. Who knows, there is no guarantee for any of us there'll be a 2013 ;)

Really folks, what are we waiting for? What if there is no more time to someday away? What if it is now or never? If it isn't important enough for now let's let it go and stop wasting energy on it. And if it is important to us, let us seize the day, sieze the 60 seconds, and live into our lives with everything we have. Seize Someday Today!

Wishing you the Best in 2012 and no more endless Somedays only many many more brave Todays!

Friday, December 23, 2011

I Wish You Happy Feet!

This year has been a mixed bag of happiness with a few whammies thrown in. But this little guy and the lessons learned this year remind me that life is short and much richer when we spend our time, energy, and efforts getting happy.

Like Mumble, not all of our family, friends, co-workers, etc. are going to applaud our unique gifts. It is our job to not let ourselves be frosted over, and find somewhere... anywhere- even out alone on a glacier- to be able to express ourselves. And then create our own happy dance.

I beg of you: if you don't have something that makes you do a happy dance regularly, get your feet moving and find something. Life is too short, the winters are too cold, and the world is too wonderful not to find something to love!

Wishing you a fabulous Holiday Season and the Happiest of Feet in 2012!

Monday, December 12, 2011

Observe But Don't Absorb Other People's Messes

Give Off Joy
I'm spending a great deal of my time of late studying, reading about, playing around with the concept of happiness. And one of the big topics that often comes up is how to deal with toxic people and situations in our lives. Let me start by telling you how I use to deal with things.... most of my life I have been a rather optimistic person, so it pained me to see others in distress so much so I would try and help (read: fix) the situation. The dangerous thing is that I was pretty clever and wise even at a young age so I would often be able to help people out which led to more people, more fixing/helping.

Why is this a bad thing? Well, because I had no detachment instincts- if people told me their problems or came to me with their messy lives I took it on as it was now my problem. How can I help this person? And I totally got off on helping and thinking how nice and wonderful it was of me- not to mention I loved the adoration I got from them after. But, it's a trap.

With maturity, heartache, and finally being drained by others, I wised up. What I finally got is that people's stuff is their stuff. They need to clean up their own mess. Do people need a helping hand? Sure. But we must be aware not everyone is salvageable or wants peace in their lives. There are people surrounding us who are pessimists that thrive on drama, they're taker, drainers, true narcissists... and they will never change- that's just who they are.

It is up to us who we let in our lives. I want to have people in my life who are inspiring, happy, healthy, loving, humorous, working on themselves, giving, etc. I want to absorb the lessons they have to teach me, the energy they emit, the love they give, the good company they provide.

For the others I use this bit of wisdom from my pal:
     Observe, don't absorb.
                                ~Brandy Agerbeck
We can't get rid of all the toxic people in our life- they're everywhere: at work, in our family, in line with us at the movies. But we can decide we will observe what is going on with them without partaking in their negativity, drama, hostility, bad vibes. If need be just put on a magical suit of rubber and like we're taught in 1st grade let it bounce off of you and stick to them. It is no longer (really, never was) any of my business how people decide to live their lives, all I can do is try and be a good person, work on myself, clean up my own messes, and live at peace with my choices.

Now when someone comes to me with anything I see if they are open to a suggestion, appreciative of my time, willing to take on the bulk of the burden, and then I help when I can. But I get their issue is theirs to figure out and just because someone drops their mess of a life at your feet doesn't mean you need to pick any of it up. We decide what we absorb into our lives and so do others; I've chosen to absorb the good and observe the rest.