Zen Diaries: Garry's Gift

As I do each year around this time I was contemplating my theme for 2020-- wanted something worthy of the new decade and the happiness I want to create. At the same time Judd Apatow has been promoting his new book: It's Garry Shandling's Book. And while I haven't yet read the book it reminded me of how much I loved, loved, loved the documentary: The Zen Diaries Of Garry Shandling.

You don't have to like Garry or even comedy to get something profound from the life he lived. It's really more of an exploration of the human condition: how we carry wounds around with us throughout life; how loss and betrayals can make us both mentally and physically ill; how friends can be our family; and how even if you find the answer to a happy life you have to actively practice that knowledge to get to the joy.

Judd did an absolutely amazing job putting this film together and because he loved Garry, but also wanted to show him raw as well, you get to see so much of what leads to success, what tortures someone who has it all, and what goes unsaid- which is stingingly tragic. Garry left behind some brilliant comedy but I believe this portraiture of him as a man- faults, neuroses and all- is his greatest gift. 

This is one of Garry's notes that Judd had shared on social media that I remind myself of often, so this year it helped me pick my theme:

Must LET GO of ALL attachment to life, to good & bad... JOY Only

Garry lived a remarkable life and he left us words to practice by. Thank you, Garry. 
And for sharing so generously your friendship and love for Garry: Thank you, Judd. 

May our lives be a beautiful practice of JOY Only in to this new decade ahead!

🙏☺️🎊

Peace, Love & Joy

Couple of weeks ago I had a wonderful lunch with my uber talented sorority sister, Karyn, and the conversation turned to her art and some projects she is working on and who inspires her. And that lead to us talking about how some people generate an image that can transform their art or message to such a degree that they become known for it.

On my way home that day I wondered what image would I want to be known for 🤔

And as much as I adore the red smiley face which is the symbol of the Circle of Joy I feel we can't get to JOY without two other steps.

We need to:

BE at Peace with ourselves and the world... 
which leads to KNOWing Love... which leads to FEELing JOY.

When we are little we feel JOY all the time because it's our natural state until we get told we're doing life wrong- by our parents, teachers, lovers, society. And so it gets harder and harder to have raw moments of JOY. How do we get back there? I've found the simplest way for me to get more JOY in my life is to be at PEACE with myself and then with the world we are surrounded by. Mediation helps. So does compassion for knowing people are doing the best they can with where they are at the moment. And if we ourselves want to be less crazed we need to simply let them do them and focus on our inner PEACE so we can be as powerful as we can be in the world.

When we are at PEACE we then can learn or remember how lovable we are. How lovable others are. Knowing LOVE changes our energy, our tone, our experience of ourselves, others and our world. Unless we LOVE ourself we have a hard time loving our life or anyone in it. And it's almost impossible to feel the depth of LOVE when we hold back because we haven't received or learned to give the LOVE we are capable of knowing as a human in this world. 

Yet if we can quiet ourselves to be at PEACE, then open ourselves enough to know LOVE, then it's a way shorter journey to feel JOY. It flows to us when we get the two other elements in line.

So it might be greedy but I want to have three symbols I am known for. And not only are they symbolic, they are a formula and a practice I want to live my life by:
PEACE + LOVE + JOY!

What word symbolizes the message you have for yourself and the world? What image visually summarizes what you are up to this year/decade/life? What do you want to be known for?
If nothing comes to mind... please ponder! We need you and me and all of us at our most inspired if we are going to fully live the lives we have been gifted.

Thank You for the Clarity

By nature I'm a fixer- I like to fix things: problems, people, situations. I've spent (read: wasted) a great deal of time in my life thinking everything had a solution and every story could have a happy ending. I blame growing up on 80's sitcoms and my love for romantic comedies. Roughly 30% of my delusion alone I've traced back to Hugh Grant- bad boys with good voices and sheepish grins were my kryptonite.

Anyway, now after a lot of disappointment and frustration I know that there is only so much you can do and when things don't work out after you've tried you darnedest- you have to realize: it is what it is. 

As a control freak it is super hard to accept: things don't always come together at the end of the half hour, or when you find a person that makes you melt, or when you work your butt off at a job.

Yet, there is some good news in seeing this: clarity!

When someone or some situation shows you what's what with them-- instead of fighting or denying it, it's much more empowering to be thankful for the clarity.

Thank the cheater for making it easier to move on to find a new love; thank the boss for not promoting you so you can go find your truer calling or better run company; thank the old friend for betraying you because now you have more time to devote to yourself instead of her.

Disappointment and heartbreak is a signpost that that is not where or with whom you belong. It stings- I know- trust me I know! But, Yay! Now there is clarity. Now you can be free to go find the person, friend or work that sparks joy in you ;)

Try suffering less next time you get hurt and instead thanking the universe for clarity so you can go find the joy you deserve in life. It is way better and more powerful to live with clarity then rose-colored glasses. Tip: Keep the frames, but get clear lenses. 🤓

Recharge Yourself

Do you get anxious when you see your phone is at 10%? Of course you do, it's the Pavlovian trigger of our time. Arianna Huffington often talks about how we check in more often on how our cell phone battery is doing during the day than we check in with ourselves.

A few years ago I was reading Finding Your Own North Star, by Martha Beck, and in part of one of the exercises called Climbing Back Into Your Body she asks you to check in with your left big toe. Now this was a startling revelation for me- not that I have toes- but that I probably had not specifically checked in with each one individually since I was a child figuring out which one went to the market.  🐷

I had been really neglecting the vessel in which I live and only paying attention to my body when it's in pain 😖or in pleasure 😉. Of course there was yearly maintenance but as long as I got a ✅ that nothing was wrong it was all good until next year. Even when I would be in workout mode I was mostly going through the motions- let's get this done. Not really connecting with my energy in a way that honored how I wanted to be in the world.

Our bodies are amazing! And we take them for granted because we think if our mind is still awake and functioning enough to get us to our next hour of the day we must be fine. Ridiculous!

Look around... how many of us our numb to how exhausted we are or how we are living on auto-pilot. We do no one any good living on empty.

So what's an exhausted but grateful body to do?
Practice being as connected to our toes as we are to our texts. For me, I'm practicing having quiet time at night before I go to bed so I can calm myself before sleep. Meditating. Stretching when I feel tense. And decluttering my space regularly so I don't have my energy zapped by things that don't spark JOY.

Every time you check your phone: check your mind for clarity... check your shoulders for tension... check your heart for peace... check your gut for direction. Our phones are our tool to be in communication with the world but let's also use that battery-deplete-panic as a reminder that the most important form of communication is with ourselves.

Theme 2019

2019's Theme :) 

FRESH: New, different, full of energy and vigor, bright and healthy in appearance, cool and fairly strong.... so I'm all about fresh starts, fresh air, fresh food, fresh experiences.

What are you up to in 2019?

If you haven't created your year yet--- come join in!

(past themes)