Scatter Joy .... & Jenna

Yesterday I called to wish a guy friend of mine, will call him "Fred" (he's shy), congratulations on a new job offer. I was so happy for him and was thinking what a great guy he is and how this company is going to be lucky to have him. I had just hung up the call when I see my pal Jenna McCarthy (not the Playboy naked one, although she is hot enough to be asked) posted this tweet. I was so inspired and it struck me that I always tell my closest friends how much I love them but I don't often get that mushy with my guy friends or my other friends.

Well off went an email to Fred telling him how his Mother would be so proud of him as a person, the gorgeous, fun, kind kids he is raising, and the amazing husband and friend he is today.  I had a warm fuzzy right after that I shared with Jenna who then also got a warm fuzzy -which might be slightly alcohol-aided because at this point she was drinking a toast to her Dad- ... then not too much later got a note back from Fred that he was so touched that he passed the note to his wife (one of my BFFs) who responded: now that's the kind of email you save for when you need a pick-me-up!

So one tweet brightened 4 people's day, and I am sure many others because Jenna has many followers who probably did the same.  And you're reading this now and will also partake too, right?

The world might be scary and times might be hard but it takes but a minute to find some Joy, or Jenna, and scatter some happiness and appreciation in your path today.


Scatter Away :) ... (: ... :) ... (: .....


*btw: check out Jenna's hilarious new book for some more good vibes, warm fuzzies, and a plethora of profanity and get a daily treat by following her @Jennawrites.

ME Mapping: Creating Your Year

Want to have your best year yet? Want to hedge your bet just incase the Mayans are onto something? Want a map of where you're going and where you've been? Excellent! Then ME Mapping is for you:

You can also check out ME Mapping (for your current life).

(UPDATED for 2014 from original 2012 post.)

LIVE JOY FULLY

2012 Theme

Don't SOMEDAY Your Life Away!

Was looking forward to mellow relaxing holidays to bring in the new year... that is not how things ended up going. No need to bore you with details, but the point is that we never know how our day, week, or year are going to end up. Things pop up- some that delight us, some that knock the wind out of us. And as always, they are just another reminder of how short and precious life is.

Every time something spoils that I was looking forward to enjoying, or I saved something for a special occasion then never end up using it- I remind myself to not save things for good, but instead to enjoy them in the present. The companion of this sentiment is: don't someday your life away.

We always say were going to get around to things we never do. We wait for calm waters to venture out. We wait for the perfect mate, job, financial situation, etc. to do the thing we think might make us happy. But why? What exactly are we waiting for?

Timing is many things, some might even say everything... but in there it must be noted that if we keep waiting for someday we won't ever get to it. Someday must be today, this minute, this NOW.

And what does it take to seize our someday? Less then a minute of insane courage in most cases (giving myself a full minute just incase). Yes, I went to see We Bought A Zoo and I loved this line, but it was more finding out someone important to me got some scary medical news and the debate about the Mayan calendar predicating the end of times that has me focusing on 2012 as a great time to stop somedaying my life away. Who knows, there is no guarantee for any of us there'll be a 2013 ;)

Really folks, what are we waiting for? What if there is no more time to someday away? What if it is now or never? If it isn't important enough for now let's let it go and stop wasting energy on it. And if it is important to us, let us seize the day, sieze the 60 seconds, and live into our lives with everything we have. Seize Someday Today!

Wishing you the Best in 2012 and no more endless Somedays only many many more brave Todays!

I Wish You Happy Feet!

This year has been a mixed bag of happiness with a few whammies thrown in. But this little guy and the lessons learned this year remind me that life is short and much richer when we spend our time, energy, and efforts getting happy.

Like Mumble, not all of our family, friends, co-workers, etc. are going to applaud our unique gifts. It is our job to not let ourselves be frosted over, and find somewhere... anywhere- even out alone on a glacier- to be able to express ourselves. And then create our own happy dance.

I beg of you: if you don't have something that makes you do a happy dance regularly, get your feet moving and find something. Life is too short, the winters are too cold, and the world is too wonderful not to find something to love!

Wishing you a fabulous Holiday Season and the Happiest of Feet in 2012!

Observe But Don't Absorb Other People's Messes

Give Off Joy

I'm spending a great deal of my time of late studying, reading about, playing around with the concept of happiness. And one of the big topics that often comes up is how to deal with toxic people and situations in our lives. Let me start by telling you how I use to deal with things.... most of my life I have been a rather optimistic person, so it pained me to see others in distress so much so I would try and help (read: fix) the situation. The dangerous thing is that I was pretty clever and wise even at a young age so I would often be able to help people out which led to more people, more fixing/helping.

Why is this a bad thing? Well, because I had no detachment instincts- if people told me their problems or came to me with their messy lives I took it on as it was now my problem. How can I help this person? And I totally got off on helping and thinking how nice and wonderful it was of me- not to mention I loved the adoration I got from them after. But, it's a trap.

With maturity, heartache, and finally being drained by others, I wised up. What I finally got is that people's stuff is their stuff. They need to clean up their own mess. Do people need a helping hand? Sure. But we must be aware not everyone is salvageable or wants peace in their lives. There are people surrounding us who are pessimists that thrive on drama, they're taker, drainers, true narcissists... and they will never change- that's just who they are.

It is up to us who we let in our lives. I want to have people in my life who are inspiring, happy, healthy, loving, humorous, working on themselves, giving, etc. I want to absorb the lessons they have to teach me, the energy they emit, the love they give, the good company they provide.

For the others I use this bit of wisdom from my pal:

     Observe, don't absorb.
                                ~Brandy Agerbeck

We can't get rid of all the toxic people in our life- they're everywhere: at work, in our family, in line with us at the movies. But we can decide we will observe what is going on with them without partaking in their negativity, drama, hostility, bad vibes. If need be just put on a magical suit of rubber and like we're taught in 1st grade let it bounce off of you and stick to them. It is no longer (really, never was) any of my business how people decide to live their lives, all I can do is try and be a good person, work on myself, clean up my own messes, and live at peace with my choices.

Now when someone comes to me with anything I see if they are open to a suggestion, appreciative of my time, willing to take on the bulk of the burden, and then I help when I can. But I get their issue is theirs to figure out and just because someone drops their mess of a life at your feet doesn't mean you need to pick any of it up. We decide what we absorb into our lives and so do others; I've chosen to absorb the good and observe the rest.

The Bigger The Fall, The Bigger The Bounce

Every year I write The Thanksgiving List and call my closest friends and tell them specifically why I am thankful for them that year. After Thanksgiving I do another sort of list- one about me; what I'm thankful for about myself. This year it includes realizing how far I've come since the sucky summer of 2002. It really struck me when I was having dinner with one of my best friends the week before Thanksgiving and we got into a deep conversation about how our lives are so different then what we expected 10 years ago. It was a great evening, one where you are listening and laughing and inspired by the fact we're old and wise enough to have a real adult conversation.

When we were saying our goodnights she was giving me a compliment that she wouldn't have made it through her ugly divorce if I hadn't been so supportive and great with her. I took the compliment in but then found myself realizing I wouldn't have been able to impart such wisdom (all modesty aside) if I hadn't already gone through rough times in my own life. Only because I've had such a big fall do I know it's possible to bounce back even bigger and better.

When you believe in the power of the bounce you do not fear failure the same. I am in no way encouraging the Universe to send me more shitty times, but I know I wouldn't be the same person without living thru the ones that have crossed my path. When you lose the person you loved most in your life, at least you know you are capable of big love. When you leave the job you once let define you, you know you are more then what your business card says you are. When you face financial challenges, you know what is really valuable to you. When you see your path and know you are headed in the right direction, you have compassion for those who haven't found theirs yet.

The only way to lose in life is to never make a move and stay stuck. Because if you play and fall, no worries, lean into the bounce and keep your eyes open for an even better place to land.

Are You Living A BIG Enough Life?

Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life. Well, valuable, but small. And sometimes I wonder... do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave?

I love this quote from You've Got Mail. If you weren't listening closely you might have even missed this gem; it is not a huge scene in the movie but boy is it a golden nugget. Do we live small lives because we like them or because we haven't been brave? 

I know for myself I haven't been brave enough to live my biggest life. Deep down I know I need to be braver and bolder and more daring in almost every aspect of my life. The weather this time of year is a reminder of how nice it is to be cozy and tucked into our comfortable homes and lives. But is that the way we want to spend our life?

Ponder: Do we let ourselves be fully expressed? Do we say how we feel? Do we love with full abandon? Do we take the adventures we long for? Or the biggie: Do we live out our dreams?

My guess is that for most of us that would be a big fat NO. Well what are we waiting for? How dare we not live up to all our greatness?

I know when you have kids or a demanding job- or both- the time, money and energy factors are obvious convenient excuses. But really, what is a better example to our children, co-workers, family and friends then to be living a big bold life?!

Having lost people I loved when they were in their prime- or whenever I attend a wake/funeral- I often remind myself how lucky I am to be alive and there is no real obstacles in life just different paths to get us there. But I continually give up that inspiration for the comfort of complacency and smallness (yes, I get irony of my last post being about my height hugeness).

Well, I -and by this I mean you too- don't have time to waste. Life isn't guaranteed as it is, so we better get cracking. For starters I am going to commit to not saying no to anything just because I am afraid. I will take the fear on that lives only in my mind (this means no lion taming but any mental fear) and say fuck you fear!

Anyone with me? How big of a life do you want to take on? What can I do to support you? And this is not because I am nice, but because I might need your big brave shoulders down the line :)

Wishing you a big HUMONGOUS life, and one for me too!

June 26, 2012: Dedicated to Nora Ephron who lived a BIG (and valuable) life! ... RIP