Save ThankingsGiving~ Stop With All The Stuff-ing!

Outraged! Outraged I tell you!!!

I spent my holiday breaks in college waitressing at a country club which included serving Thanksgiving dinners instead of partaking in the turkey and trimmings. I didn't mind horribly because I still got to see families, even if they weren't my own, enjoying a dinner together. And yes the time-and-a-half pay made me thankful for sure. It's a given that some folks will always work on Thanksgiving to help serve others whether it be at restaurants or movie theaters; but this year stores including Macy's, JC Penneys, and Target are opening on Thanksgiving to offer discounted shopping- WTH?!!!

Macy's I expected more from you... you owned the goodwill of this holiday and are now throwing it away. For goodness sake what would giant Snoopy say?

To open at 8am, then 6am, then 3am was crazy enough but at least is was technically after Thanksgiving. But shopping on Thanksgiving should consist of running out to get more stuffing not more stuff!

We as a country take one day a year to be thankful for what we already have and now folks want to spend the day getting more stuff that they don't already need. To me this is crazy and a sign we have tainted my favorite holiday.

Let's put aside that most Americans are in more debt then we can handle and focus on the fact that if we can't spend time enjoying the company of friends and family we can at least not clutter our lives with more stuff we do not need. Discounted or not. Gifts or not.

We spend a fortune renting storage spaces, upsizing our housing, working to buy the latest all through the year. This is the one day we should stop stuffing our lives with stuff and give thanks for the people and lives we have. And if we have situations were family and friends are not nearby then it is a great day to help serve the less fortunate and remember how lucky we are.

Sorry for the sermon-- but boy every time Christmas promoting gets earlier in the year I get annoyed; each time I see people, and now kids, focused more on their devices then each other my heart sinks; I refuse to willingly sit silent while stuff takes over ThanksGiving!

I beg of you all, don't give in: make yourself a Thanksgiving List and please, please put down the shopping list!

It's The Little Things

Whenever I go to the movies or fun outing with my friend Diane she brings me a bag of Happy Cola gummies for my snacking enjoyment. Most every time there is a bow or some form of decoration too to make it festive. For less then $2 she makes my night every single time- even if the movies sucks and even when I know it's coming I still get excited to get them. 

There are many reasons I love her as a friend but how I know she loves me is through the little thing she does to actually show it. How sweet is that?!!! 

Next time you want to show someone you care don't not do something because you don't have the time or money for a grand gesture... it really is the little things that make all the differnce in the world :)

Pick A Different Way Of Doing It

Creativity is my gift... I fancy myself a sort of Joy-Appleseed who likes to scatter ideas around and see which grow into something fruitful. But I also believe most people have the same talent if they would relax and get into a creative frame of mind.

I've been practicing this in new areas of my life and the simple act of taking something that isn't working and trying to look at it from a different viewpoint works. 

Yada, yada, yada... you don't need me to tell you this.

It doesn't matter the topic or how creative you think you are- if something is not working in your life pick a different way of doing it. I could list tons of ways to look at life differently but you have an inner creative genius too and all you need to do is decide what's not working for you and pick something new and try it. If doesn't work try the opposite. Doesn't get you unfunked- ask a creative friend or call in a profesional. 

Life is too short and too sweet to eat from a mealy slice. It's a new season and a new quarter go pick yourself something delicious!

Sadness, Silence & C.K.

Weird that I'm finally digging into Susan Cain's book Quiet the same week Louis CK goes viral talking about how so many of us can't be alone and quiet. The thing I love most about him is how he takes a profound point and wraps it in funny.

The riff is more then just social commentary it is also a big red flag pointing us to a huge issue that affects everything from our health- both mental and physical- to the breakdown of our families. Rushing around, constant stimulation, screens vs faces is the new smoking. Distracted living and not being able to be quiet and process our lives is not only bad for us but is horrendous for our kids. I remember when I was growing up playing too much Pong was considered bad now look how kids need hyper color, motion, noise coming at them all the time. Seriously, when was the last time you actually saw a teen or even a 30 year old having a real undistracted conversation; no, everyone is looking down at or into a screen, even when they are sitting next to someone they love.

Quiet talks a lot about relentless outside stimulus being too much for most introverts but I think all of us are overstimulated and are numb to the effects it is having. And if we're not getting quiet we're definitely not letting ourselves feel what our minds and bodies are processing either. People would be surprised how quiet my life is most of the time. I am very outgoing and extroverted in social settings because I enjoy the interaction but most of my days are quiet. I love silence and never have a radio or tv on when I'm reading, writing, or working on a project. Actually too much motion, noise, or stimulus gives me a headache and makes me a bit nauseous.

What about you? When was the last time you thought about how your environment and habits are affecting you?

Engagement in life now vs even 20 years ago is remarkably different and I don't think for the better. We busy and distract ourselves to the point of numbing our minds and bodies to everyday thinking and feeling. Sadness is not a bad thing if we can sit with it, process, and then utilize what our feelings enlighten us to. But if we are constantly distracting ourselves how will we ever get to feel and be in touch with ourselves and our joy let alone really be there for and with others?

I don't want to move to Walden Pond or poo-poo technology and all that it brings into our lives but I think we need to text less, call more or even better yet see each other in person with no phones in sight. Turn down the noise and tune into our emotions and build some quiet time into our days. Everyone will have a different ratio of silence that works for them but I think we could all benefit from taking the prescription from a comedian and get more silence, sadness and Springsteen into our lives*.

Side notes: Met Susan Cain at an event I attended last January at 37singals (which is a beautiful space btw). She is lovely- if you ever get a chance to hear her speak you should go. 

*My favorite sad Springsteen songs: Streets of Philadelphia & Into The Fire

Cutting The Cord(less)

When I worked for Sony years ago and wanted to buy my parents a cordless phone for Christmas they rebuffed the offer: why would we need a cordless phone when it just takes a few seconds to walk to the one in the kitchen? I remember trying to explain how convenient and modern it was to not be tied to a phone on the wall.

Fast forward to last week when I finally decided, mostly for cost reasons ($60/mo.), to stop home service on a phone I barely use. Going mobile only means giving up the number I've had for 2 decades- Wah, waah! I could not believe how traumatic it was for me to finally release the comfort of having a phone I've probably spent as much time forwarding to my cell as I did actually talking on.

I've thought about it and think I know why: there is just something about the thought of cutting out the main way people reached me that chokes me up. Chris, my old boyfriend, would occasionally say no matter what distance came between us he always knew how to get in touch when he needed me. He has since passed away yet I still think of my home line as the way any former connections could reach out. Keeping an open line to the past was what the phone, cordless or not, meant to me.

My parents have gone on to be mobile users and both read on Kindles and now look back at their tech fears amused- this, while still keeping their home line. Best of both worlds I would say. But for me in my second half, part of what I want is to streamline my life and that means in every area. So even though it physically hurt and I spent an excessive amount of time weighing the options- I cut the cord and let my line go and am now fully mobile.

The possible lost connections is what caused me to fear going cold turkey and now I'm clear that tethering ourselves to our past and leaving open reconnection are two different things. I am clearly reachable through multiple social media platforms and there is no one who wanted to that couldn't connect with me. So, ahhhh... one less bill, one less voicemail to check, one less thing weighing me down from getting to my life's work.

What cord is keeping you tethered? What cut to your past needs to be made?

Do it, you'll feel better- even if it takes a day or two and a good cry. Life is for living forward, not for pulling us back to the past.

Happy cord cutting to you :)

The Butler Who Inspired Our Nation

Symbolism is the subtle beacon that lights our unpaved way. To go from picking cotton in the fields with no rights at all, to serving in the White House, to then being able to cast a vote for the first black President- few would have guessed it was possible. And that is why one person's journey can have a profound impact on all that follow, even if they take a different path.  

Not everyone can lead a revolution like Martin Luther King Jr. but who knows if one dignified server actually did as much to change the hearts and minds of those in power and therefore our nation. The movie, which is based on the life of Eugene Allen and an article written about him and his wife Helene, is magnificent. Not only is it a great story but it is a history lesson that walks us through the many layers of race relations at that time in our country. 

The election of Barack Obama meant something to me but I didn't ever doubt it would happen someday; I can't imagine what it must have meant to those who were not able to fathom it. And that is why movies like this are themselves change agents. It enlightens those who did not live through it with a sense of what folks before us went through and documents what change is possible in one's lifetime. Danny Strong did an amazing job weaving the experiences of one family, 8 Presidents, and our nation into a very compelling story-- as did the magnificent acting of all involved. Lee Daniels created a masterpiece of a film that will serve as one of those movies people will want to watch decades from now as a symbol of what is possible in America. 

I think of how proud Eugene would have been to see his story touching so many others, and Helene to be portrayed brilliantly by Oprah. Their struggles and their contributions (even with the embellishments done in telling it) will inspire another generation and they will inspire another with the way they carry themselves in the work that is left to be done in our nation. I doubt Wil Haygood, the Washington Post reporter who wrote the article that lead to Danny's screenplay, knew at the time he was writing this piece he would inspire one of the great stories put on film. Rarely do we know all the lives we'll touch when we are simply living ours. 

We need the big dreamers like MLK, the big personalities like Oprah, the big talents like Forest Whitaker, Danny, and Lee, but it is often those who live in quiet dignity and work hard on their own dream that change the world. One butler would eventually move the first black President to tears and remind us all how far we've come and what is possible when we live a dream for ourselves and take our unique path where it leads us.  

Please go see this movie and then ask yourself: What dream is possible in my lifetime? And then get to living your story so you inspire yourself... and maybe, just maybe others along the way :)

 

The Real Butler Who Inspired the Movie Lee Daniels' The Butler

My New "Boyfriend"

I will always love Louis but I might need to give in to my other crush Gary Gulman. I enjoyed him on Last Comic Standing years ago and even bought one of his first CDs but never really saw much of him after. Then he recently was on a John Oliver's show on Comedy Central and had me smitten.

He loves many of the same things I do: Trader Joes, grapes, Chipotle, avocados/guac, Discman, found $20-bills... and he's a tall Jew with great legs and luscious hair! Pitter patter my heart.

Having crushes is one of life's great JOYS-- so, happy to share mine with you :)
[more Gary on CC & on Letterman]
Who's yours?

I Have A Dream...

Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream and 50 years ago today gave the speech that he will be forever known for. I still get stirred and choked up hearing his words. The part that touches me most is while standing for a better world and equality for all he inspired others to dream a dream for their own lives.

My dream is that we don't simply survive our lives but that we all live into our dreams. I started hosting Wildest Dreams Club gatherings this year and they, along with my workshop, have already changed the lives of several of my friends and attendees. To me living into a dream coming true is an amazing gift and worthy of one's time and energy. Knowing others' dreams is an honor and privilege and helping them work at them is both exciting and addicting.

Through socialmedia many folks today have been sharing their dreams and they each give me a little chill: Maria Shriver- to end Alzheimers in her lifetime; Bill Gates- quality education for all children regardless of their zipcode; Dalai Lama- we come together in oneness of humanity and end war in this century. Are theses huge dreams, sure, but if we can fly through the air, land on the moon, cure polio, we can do anything.

A dream in our head is nice and maybe occasionally inspiring, but to live into our dreams we need to get them down, speak them to others- thus the Wildest Dreams Club- and be in action even if it is simply babysteps done over our lifetime.

My other dream is to turn ME Mapping into an app that people use like they would a calendar. When they are planning the day they reference their ME Map as a gauge and tool of living a great life. That folks feel working on their life gives them more power and appreciation for what they already have and vision for what they'd like to create.

Do our dreams need to be about world peace and saving the planet from pollution (Richard Branson's), no. My belief is that each person making their own life better and their own family, friends, business more joyful makes the world as a whole a better place. Having a smile on your face, letting someone merge in front of you in traffic, bringing your coworker a coffee all make mini-contributions that add up to a ripple of goodness. We don't need to be leaders, wealthy, famous, or have huge all consuming dreams to make a difference to the world. Even a little dream lived into creates a butterfly effect and changes the world, even if it is only in your little corner of it.

What is your dream? Do you know the dream of those closest to you? Are you teaching your children to have big meaningful dreams? Can you do one small thing today to help someone else get one inch closer to their dream?

To have a legacy of fighting for racial equality was a worthy use of MLKjr's life, what is a worthy use of yours?