Showing posts with label ME-ness of Meanness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ME-ness of Meanness. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 28, 2018

The SPLASH




[Warning: There will be lots of shitty language and upsetting thoughts below--- 
if you're having a shitty or delicate day maybe skip this post.]


Shittiness doesn't just have the power to ruin someone's day, or year, or their career but can ruin their entire life or our whole world. 

See, when we are shitty it doesn't neatly stay confined to just us and the person we are shitty to........ it splashes and goes everywhere ........ I mean EVERYWHERE!

Because Stephen Miller is a shitty person a young boy separated from his mother at the border doesn't even recognize her anymore. Because the killer was a shitty husband my high school friend Ron Goldman is dead and his sister, Kim, has spent years of her life anguished by his loss. Because Donald Trump is a shitty president world leaders have had to adjust their economies, foreign policies, and military plans because they no longer have one of their staunchest allies as a reliable partner.

SHIT SPLASH hits the person you're directly shitty to and then ripples and gets on anyone who is in their life... and so on... and so on ... and so on... 

Imagine knowing Harvey Weinstein raped your friend and having to see him win award after award. Well you don't have to, there are women who can tell us how that not only affected their friend but how just knowing there was a serial-rapist in their midst changed what movies they went for, who they might be able to trust, and how they felt about the industry they had dreamed of working in. Clearly it must have been horrible for Louis CK's daughters to hear/read about the creepy things he had done but how shitty must it have been for his tv-daughters to know their director and co-star has now tainted what they spent a good portion of their young lives working on.

How sick must it have been for anyone who knew the true Cosby to see him being touted as America's Dad. He didn't just rape and ruin the lives of his victims he splashed that shit on anyone they loved or dealing with the fallout from their pain. 

The butterfly effect states: a very small change in initial conditions can create a significantly different outcome. That is a delicate way of saying your shit splash can ruin things you aren't even aware of for people who are merely in your vicinity. 
Splash, splash, splash!

We are all shitty at some time in our lives- heck in many of our day-to-day actions- but we can make life and our world better if we: limit how shitty we are to ourselves and others and by leaving less of a crappy-mess behind in our wake.

What can you do if you've been The Splasher?

  • Map It Out: Take an inventory of your life, including your shit.
  • Own your ME-anness: Take responsibility for your energy (& shit).
  • End It: Stop being so shitty and clean up the mess.
  • Do Good: Repair the shit you've broken.
  • Create Art: Make helpful shit. 🎨💩👍

What if you've been a victim of shittiness? 
Do as Oprah did... take all the shit that has happened to you and turn it into fertilizer and  🌱 🌿 🌳 GROW!

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

My Name is ... Karma



The world feels especially weird right now and even a bit scary. But every time I feel a little discombobulated I focus on what I have control over and this reminds me of the ME-ness of meanness. Because when things seem off-kilter the best place to start to right the motion is to clean up our mess first which allows us to be more powerful dealing with others and building a joyful life.

My favorite example of this philosophy is the pilot episode of My Name Is Earl: the gist of it is that a guy... named Earl... is a loser who scratches off a $100,000 winning lottery ticket and he's so excited while jumping around he gets hit by a car and the ticket blows away. While in the hospital he sees Carson Daly talking about karma and thinks he's discovered why his life is so shitty. So he makes a list of 259 bad things he's done and sets off to right his wrongs. His first action on his roadmap to a better life is to clean up the parking lot of the motel he's staying in to make up for being a litterbug and while his brother makes fun of him for picking up garbage a gust of wind lands the missing lottery ticket at his feet.
Carson Daly was right karma works!

Making amends to people we've wronged shows up in themes from movies to AA's 12-step program and there is a reason: it's freeing and even life saving.


One of my favorite scenes from one of my favorite movies has a similar inventory feel:



When Harry searches for the cure to what's been ailing him he takes a trip into his past to figure how he arrived at being him. It's painful and he has to force himself to listen to the harm he's done and attempt to understand what pain he's caused and how to be a better person.

The journey of getting closure on either what's ailing us, what's unresolved in us, what's blocking good karma from flowing into our lives is tough. It's not for wusses or the faint of heart. It takes a strong person to own their past, their mistakes, and then clear the way to a future filled with possibility and loose from the baggage most of us let weight us down.

Karma can get us or free us.

Cleaning up my own karma* as a gift to myself by my next birthday... My name is Joy.
I invite you to join me :)




[*Please do me favor of letting me know if I need to clean up anything with you. Thanks!]